Mock the Fic: The Elevator Chapter 1

Happy Hump Day! YAY! We’ve survived this long this week, what’s another bad fic to add to the day? This story is one that sounds vaguely like another fic that asks “What Would Nikki Heat Do?” I guess that means that the topic is now clichéd. Yay, another clichéd topic to add to my soon to be published list of: “Clichéd way to write Castle Fanfic!” While you all wait on pins and needles for my essay, I present a new mock.

Stats: Title: The Elevator Author: luvlife987 Summary: What happens when Kate and Castle are locked in an elevator together with no cell phone service? Rating: T

Kate and Rick were sitting at Kate’s desk, Kate was doing paper work, but Rick was staring at her, something that her loved to do.

Her loved to do paperwork? Wow, can I send her all my paperwork to do please? Oh and once again, this sounds caveman like. Me like sitting at desk. Me is writing bad fic! Me is evil!

Esposito and Ryan walked up to the desk, “We are heading home, call us if you need us.

Wow, is this an Espo/Ryan fic? We here at Bad Castle Fic have yet to venture into that territory.

Be kind though, tomorrow is Saturday,

That’s code for “we are having sex tonight.”

if I get another six in the morning call because you don’t know how to turn on the coffee machine I will be mad.”

Le huh? HBIC totally needs her slaves to start the coffee for her. Don’t want her breaking a sweat in those cute little jackets of hers. They are dry clean only.

“Yeah, and please no murders.” Ryan said to Kate.

Damn, I guess that means I can’t kill the author.

“Okay, I’ll just call up the murderers in New York and tell them not to kill tomorrow because Ryan and Esposito don’t want to go to work; I’m sure they will understand.” Kate rolled her eyes, and dropped her green eyes back down to look at her paper work stack, at this point she’ll be here ’till six in the morning.

I hear that works in Down Town, NY. They actually have a 1800 hotline you call to tell them you want the night off. They are totally cool about it too.

“Boss gave us the keys to lock up.” Esposito said while throwing keys at the detective staring at her paper work. Kate didn’t even look up, she just graved them.

Are they trying to initiate a key party? With those two and add Castle, it’d be hot! We know they aren’t the precinct keys since the precinct is open more than a 7-Eleven.

“Thanks guys, see you six in the morning sharp.” She smiled letting them know that she was only joking.

No she wasn’t. When HBIC says jump, you better go find a window and dive head first.

Esposito smiled while walking with his partner Ryan to the elevator, “Oh, and Beckett, don’t forget your broom that’s in the parking lot.”

HBIC doesn’t need a broom, she has a Roomba.

“How could I forget it, it’s my ride home.” She screamed back at them as the elevator door closed muffling there laugh.

No really, she brought the Roomba. Trust me.

After a few minutes of Kate and Rick sitting alone in silence, Kate dropped her pen, and spins her head

Whoa! Did she just go all Exorcists on us?

to stare at the man who had been staring at the back of her head for the past three hours of the dark New York night. “Go home Castle.”

Watch it she will go all Linda Blair on you.

“Why so you can stay here all night and not get any sleep?”

Comma! Linda Blair Becks hates it when you don’t use a comma!

“I have paperwork to do then I’ll go home, why are you even here?”

Because he wants to see you spin your head again.

“To make sure you go home.” Rick said while staring at her rolling her big, green eyes.

“I can go home all by myself.”

Don’t trust Linda Blair Castle. She really wants to kill everyone!

“I’m sure you can, the question is, will you?”

“I will.” Kate said, knowing he was right, if she did all the paper work that was on her desk, she would be staying the night at the office.

Linda Blair Becks doesn’t want to go home with you, Castle!

“I’m telling you this now I will not be going home until you come with me. We are locking this office up together. You need sleep, and you are not sleeping at the office again.”

Funny! There is that mention of locking up again. I hope that means we are locking up with handcuffs and a whip.

Kate dropped her pen, “Fine, let’s go, Castle.” Kate said in defeat, she did need rest.

Just be scared Castle if she starts to have a seizer.

Castle smiled in pleasure while they got up and turned the only light that was still left on off. They then walked to the elevator and got on. “I am so glad you gave in because I have a date tonight and I don’t want to be late.” Rick said.

Uh oh. She’s going to start talking like a man now.

Kate rolled her eyes, great, she thought, the little green monster of jealousy will be visiting me tonight.

Watch it, she’s going to start cursing at everyone! Go get a Priest!

“So let me get this straight, if I would of never gave in you would have canceled the date?” She asked, but after she asked she bit her tongue wondering why she just asked him that. Why would he cancel his date tonight?

That translate to: “Die Castle!”

“Yes, I would have. I would be very unhappy about it, but I’d do it.”

Out demon out!

“You do realize it is nine already.”

“I know. The date is ten o’clock at my house.”

That’s not a date, that’s called a hooker at his place.

“Nice.” She bit her tongue in jealousy, ugh, she thought. “Yeah right, a date at ten? I don’t think it would be much of a date.”

See even possessed Linda Blair Becks calls your bluff. She knows it’s a hooker too.

“Well is someone jealous?” Rick said looking at the green monster of jealousy. Kate’s eyes lit up, shit, she thought, did she really just say that out loud?

No but she is possessed.

Before Kate could respond, the elevator shook and stopped. “What the hell?” Rick asked Kate as he held on to the sides of the shaking elevator.

See, Linda Blair Becks can stop an elevator with her possession.

“I have no clue. Why won’t the door open?” Kate asked in confusion.

“We are going to be locked in this elevator for a while aren’t we?”

Wait! Didn’t someone else write a story like this?

“Uh-huh.” Kate said in horror. “Call Esposito and Ryan.”

They both pulled out there phones, “Damn, my cell doesn’t have service, does yours?”

Yes, someone else wrote a story like this. Great, now your turning it into a clichéd story. Please tell me HBIC Linda Blair Becks isn’t pregnant!

His cell phone did, in fact he had four bars, but when would he get this chance again? “Nope, this sucks. I really was looking forward to tonight.”

Ha ha! Yeah right. An iPhone getting service, that’s too funny!

Kate rolled her eyes, and slid to the floor of the elevator. “Now what are we going to do?”

Have sex? Oh wait! That’s clichéd.

Kate then pulled out her nail filer from her purse and started to file her nails away, Rick came and sat down next to her. This was going to be a long night

Really? HBIC Linda Blair Becks is just going to file at her nails? She really is possessed!

Posted on June 2, 2010, in luvlife987, Mock, Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I’m guessing no one thought to push the emergency button….

    Don’t even get me started on the there/their errors this story is peppered with. And really, what’s up with pod!Espo/Ryan?

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