Mock the Fic: Finding a Way to be Together

In the spirit of all the really bad fics I’ve been mocking lately, here is another HORRIBLE one. The author can’t even spell Beckett right. You might want to make sure you take all the guns out of the room before you read this, if you don’t you might find yourself trying to commit suicide.

Stats: Title: Finding_A_Way_To_Be_Together Author: castleshowfan Summary: While Castle And Beckett Start To Realize the Love they Have For Each Othe They Have To Find A Way To Jump All the Obstacles On The Way. First FanFic So I Just Hope YOu Like It. Beckett/Castle And A Little Lanie/ Esposito Rating: T

It was a normal day at the precinct were everyone was having a good time.

Is this how this fic going to be? Where is my vodka?

Beckette, Castle, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, and the Captain were playing poker that night when everyone went home and only they decided to stay.

It’s BECKETT! B-E-C-K-E-double T! Spell it right or HBIC will be pissed. And who is they? I’m confuzzled.

But what they did not know was that that night was going to be the worst night in their lives.

Once again, who is they and is it really going to be the worst night of their lives?

When everyone was out of the game just Beckette and Castle left playing,

It might be the worst day of this authors life if she continues misspelling Beckett’s name.

it was down to this what determined who would win.

Down to what? Huh?

“Castle you don’t think you can win a woman the higher race in the world?” kate said with a grin on her face.

Win a woman the higher race? What the hell is this that I am reading? I need more booze for this.

” ha ha very funny detective” Castle said a little angry.

And does no one capitalize their first letter of a sentence anymore?

“aww don’t get mad Castle it is true!” she said when all the guys turned to her and Lanie. “It is true” they both said.

It is true that they are the higher race? Why do I have to be one of the higher races who can’t seem to write a story using proper grammar?

“AHa! I won castle!” she said laughing.”

Random capitalization and quotation mark is random.

“Ugh I’m starting to hate this game!” he said angrily.

Ugh I’m starting to hate this fic.

Everyone was tired and they all wanted to head home.

I just want this fic to end.

“I am leaving, I am really tired all I have an appointment tomorrow with my agent Paula.” Castle said with his eyes already closing.

So they are gambling at the precinct? Is that legal?

“Ugh me too, but at least I have my day off tomorrow.” She sighed.

“Ooh Detective would you like to go with me? And later on we could go to lunch together?” Castle said with his puppy dog eyes looking at her.

Yes I am sure she wants to go with you to visit your agent.

” In your dreams Castle!” she replied.

Can HBIC KBecks please get some new turndown lines in fanfics please?

“Always Detective, always.”

How much longer do I have of this fic?

She then paused and thought about it for a moment when all of a sudden the was a ‘ding’ on the elevator.

What a loud, obnoxious elevator.

They all turned to look at a body that was on the floor. In that instant all the cops except for Caste and Lanie took out their guns.

BAD CLICHÉ! They don’t wear their guns like that in the precinct!

Esposito turned and covered Lanie.

But who’s going to cover Espo?

She gave him a look of thank you I’m scared.

Wow, is that close to the constipated look?

In a jiffy Kate did the same for Castle.

In a jiffy?

They all looked and it was clear they were safe it was just the body.

So wait? They all got out their guns over a body in the elevator?

Ryan got closer to the body; he recognized the face of the dead man that lied on the floor. It was Will, Will Sorenson.

You just killed KBecks ex?

“Oh God!” Kate turned around and hugged Castle.

Yes because that’s what I do first when my ex is killed, I hug the nearest guy near me.

Which he obviously did not deny the hug.

How do you deny a hug when someone just randomly hugs you?

Lanie approached and started searching the body for clues. She found a note that said …ALL OR YOU GUYS ARE NEXT. Love Michael Myers

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Michael Myers is after KBecks? Way to be original!

” ha ha ha very funny just by the note you can tell this guys a fake Michael doesn’t talk!” Castle said still angry that Beckette had won the poker game.

OMFG! Spell Beckett right!

“who could have done this to him?” Lanie said with a scared face.

People, that’s who.

“Well they sent a note saying it was Myers.” Ryan said with a playful grin.

” Even if im a doctor I can still hurt you Ryan!” Lanie scolded

Even if I am a writer, I can still murder you too, Ms. Author.

” yea me too!” Esposito said trying to defend Lanie.

That made no sense; you’re not a doctor Esposito.

In that moment the lights went off.


“Castle!” Beckette screamed trying to reach for him.

Oh great, we have the wimpy HBIC that will surely start crying at any moment.

“im right here” he replied.

I’m sure he is.

” wow you guys try to get together right in this moment” Ryan blurred out.

WTF? I will not kill anyone. I will not kill anyone. Are we having people hooking up in a dark precinct with Michael Myers killing people? Doesn’t he always kill the two people after they have sex?

While all of their visions were adapting to the darkness.

Oh darn, and Castle without his night vision glasses.

Their killer was approaching them. He wanted to play a game with them. Mainly with Beckette. He was obsessed with Beckette. And he wanted her only for her.

Oh so he’s obsessed with someone named Beckette and not our Beckett. Good to know.

” look you guys I think the killer is here” Lanie said.

“nah you think!” Beckette snapped.

No shit Sherlock.

” girl I ma smack you.” She defended herself quickly.

Author, I’m going to smack you.

“Girl fight?” castle said happily. Everyone turned to look at him.

“what I thought it might me fun.!” He responded at their looks.

It might me fun? Really? Die. Please. Die.

“we’ve got to get out of here” finally the captain spoke.I

Wow! The Captain actually has a voice?

In an instant Beckette’s phone rang all of them stood trying to look for the phone. She reached it on time.

“Beckette” she answered

I think this Beckette is French. Has to be with the extra e at the end of her name.

” hello there my love?” the killer asked.

Why is he asking that? That’s not a question, dummy.

” who is this?” she asked. Everyone turned to look at her.

That’s a question. Congrats, you used the question mark correctly this time.

” the man you should be with. Instead of your writer boy!” he exclaimed.

Is this Demming?

” what do you want?” she asked.

” I want to play a game. With all of your little friends. But most of all I want you!” he said.

a chill went through her spine. She couldn’t bear to think who this guy was. After she heard the beep of her cell phone meaning the call had ended. Her face pale from the call.

Oh no! She must have AT&T and her call dropped. Sucks!

” Beckette whats wrong?” everyone asked.

Her call dropped, in NY! That’s tragic!

” Esposito trace the last the last call!” she told him. Her voice was a little shaky.

Yes because we can easily trace a call with the lights out and probably the power off too.

“the last call was from someone who is right here in the precinct.” Her face got more pale. She was tumbling a little when castle grabbed her on time.

I’m still betting on Demming.

“give her some air” Lanie boasted.

” guys listen to the call again.” She told them with her voice a little shaky still.

Yes, because we all record our phone calls.

Once she said that Esposito started searching for the call. Everyone started freaking out with Ryan set out a little scream under a little whisper but it was loud enough for everyone to hear.

Ryan screamed? HA HA HA Poor half of the Ambiguously Gay Duo,

“Beckette he will not get to you!” Castle broke the silence from everyone.

Yes because he will protect you with his wit.

She was scared you could see it in her face. Castle grabbing her hand without anyone noticing. Which she perfectly accepted. How could she not accept a little feeling from the man she loves? She wished she could tell him but she wasn’t those kinds of women that gave in that easily.

Yes because she is Beckette.

If she only knew. Castle thought to himself. Castle loved Beckette with all his heart.

“look you guys if we want to get out of her we better start moving.” The captain told the others.

” yes but we have a dead body!” Lanie jolted in.

Yes, you have a body. The body of KBeck’s ex.

” not just a body Will Sorenson’s body sir.” Esposito said with a shiver.

“and plus there is a killer out on the loose looking for a way to kill us and clearly obsessed with Beckette sir.!” Ryan thought and told the others.

Yes, because we are all obsessed with Beckette, which reminds me o Baguette.

Just by what Ryan said Kate got more scared by the second her heart started pounding. Castle could tell she was scared. For Lanie it was a little funny she had noticed what Castle and Beckette had been doing in that moment.

” come on guys help me get the body somewhere where it wont bother” the captain said.

You mean smell up the place?

When the guys started moving the body Lanie got a little closer to Beckette.

” you guys look so cute together.” She told Beckette with sparkly eyes.

Who, her and the dead man? What?

” look there is nothing going on between me and castle.” She told Lanie.

” girl but you wish there was something I know you and you like him.”

” you know I do, I think I even love him” she whispered to Lanie.

I really want to puke right now, but I’m too horrified by the spelling of Beckett.

When the guys finished moving the body. They turned to the girls when there Ryan had an idea.

Wow! Ryan had an idea? That’s a first!

“Hey how come we just call one of the cops that works here in the precinct?”

Wow! Aren’t we all cops except Castle and Lanie? Imagine that!

“Let me try!” Beckette responded.

Dude, you are a cop! You’re calling yourself.

In that moment they phone wouldn’t work they tried all of their phones none of them worked.

” did he cut out the phone line?” Lanie asked.

” yes he did!” Beckette said with her voice shaky again.

Can we just get this fic over yet?

Shit everyone thought well they had to leave.

Well shit! Let’s go!

” lets go throught the stairs because the elevator wont work there is no power.” The captain told them.

No let’s jump out the window.

They all moved on wlking towards the stairs, but the door was loked.

WTF just happened in that sentence?

Shit he locked the door they thought. Behind it was the cold blooded killer approaching saw him!

“look!” he screamed out.


The killer had a mask on. You couldn’t see his face but he did look like a killer.

Yes because he had a mask on. I sure hope it’s the old Captain Kirk mask.

” sorry I cant let you guys leave the precinct because if I do I will not be able to kill you all especially you Castle!” he replied to the group.

Yes, please kill Castle. Please. This fic will end when that happens, right?

“why especially me?”Castle asked

Because we want this piece of crapfic to end!

“because of you my love Beckette doesn’t love me!” he boasted to Castle.

I still say it’s Demming.

Casttle turned to look at Beckette.

I thought that said Cattle. LOL.

Beckette turned her head down in that instant.

She turned her head down?

” Beckette I want you!” the killer told her with a desire.

” don’t you dare say that!” Castle screamed.

Oh he did dare to say it!

The killer started unlocking the door. Everyone except for Castle and Lanie drew their weaponds straight forward towards the killer.

I thought we already established that Lanie and Castle both don’t have a gun.

In another part of the city.

Otherwise known as Down Town, NY.

Karpowski was going to meet with the girls for drink at the bar next to a mall, like 10 blocks from the precinct.

Like OMG!

She was wondering wer the girls were because they said they were jst going to saty for one more round at the precinct to try to win Castle their money back. She was going to go check what was keeping them so long.

I will not kill the author, I will not kill the author.

Back at the precinct.

They are all dead?

The killer was approaching the group heading towards Beckette.

Castle rapidly stood in front of Beckette.

“you will have to go through me first!” Castle demanded his territory.

You’re dead.

“not a problem” he declared Castle a war.

When he started walking towards Beckette. Everyone put their guns up and told him they would shoot of he got close to Beckette. In that moment he close close enough to punch Castle in the face and take him has a hostage.

“Let him go take me instead!” Beckette begged.

Can we kill them all?

“Not Beckette you have to stay alive you can’t die because of this psyco!” Castle informed her.

While the killer was holding Castle hostage Karpowski had seen what was going on and hid behind some desks to try to help the group out.

Wow! She sure got there quick.

When the killer was holding Castle out hostage Karpowski grabbed one of the bottles of wine to hit him.

Random alcohol is random.

In that moment Karpowski swung as hard as she could and hit the killer as hard as she could. The killer fell to the ground. Beckette just ran to Castle and gave him a big hug. The other stared at them for the while they stayed hugging. When they realized they were being watched they emidietly let go.

They did what?

” omg thank you Karpowski” Castle said with relief.

Like OMG!

” lets put this son of a bitch in jail and let the others handle him I think we should all take a vacation don’t you guys think?” Castle asked.

We should totally take a vacation! YAY! Walt Disney World for vacation all around! Castle’s paying.

” you know what Castl I think you are right we should all take a vacation!” the Captain followed.

Too bad they can’t just close the homicide floor of the precinct.

” what do you guys say ill pay for everything!” Castle screamed out like a little kid.

See! Told you so.

“No! Castle youy cant just pay for everything!” Beckette exclaimed to everyone.

Sure he can, why not?

” actually I can ! what do you guys says let take a trip toooo….. CANCUN!” Castle said excited while Beckette just rolled her eyes.

No, I think Disneyland or Walt Disney World would be better.

” Yess” Lanie said.

“that goes for me too” Esposito said right after Lanie.

” psh what the hell I go to!” Ryan said excited.

Me go too?

” well ofcourse ill go Caslte!” The Captain said.

Everyone turned to look at Beckette to see what she would say.

“Ohhh No! I am not going!” she told the others.

Of course she won’t, she wants to go to Disney!

” Nope Beckette you are going and that is an order” the Captain told her.

I’d be calling HR if I was her.

She knew she was happy that the Captain had intervined she knew that she wanted to go.

” but sir” she tried to wine.

Was she trying to drink wine, or make wine? I don’t understand.

” no buts Beckette we are all going on this trip and that includes you” the captain explained to her.

Wait, who was the killer? I don’t get this fic.

Posted on August 30, 2010, in castleshowfan, Clichéd Fic, Down Town, Mock, NY, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. They all wlked to the stairs but the door was loked.

    WTF. a 3rd grader could spell better than that.

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