Mock the Fic: Wet Teeshirt chapter 9


I really really really wish this would end, but it won’t. It just won’t end. This chapter is just a waste of time reading and I swear all the characters are out of character.

 

Stats: Title:Wet Teeshirt Author:stevieLUVSAlex Summary: It’s the CAMPING trip that will change everything between the duo. Pranks… fun… friendly fire… and possiblly C&B fluff. You’re gonna love this. Rating: K+

A/N: I’m sorry it took so long to update. I was both out of internet credit and out of ideas.

Imagine that. What are you using, the library computer? Must be hard to write a book at a library that will never have it available for people to check out.

But now I am back on track, so thank you for your patience. Enjoy =)

I am sure I won’t enjoy.

Beckett was at a loss. Unable to come up with a good come back for castle,

I’m guessing the shift button on the keyboard at said library is broken. No, wait, never mind you capitalized Beckett.

she turned to Alexis for help. She and Ashley sat with Beckett one afternoon, when the sun beamed down on them, as they sat sun-baking on the beach.

“I need to get your father back,” Beckett insisted.

Yes, let’s lower HBIC to a new low and have to ask his daughter for help.

“Why don’t you play the shark game?” Ashley suggested gesturing towards the water. “That’s always a hoot. I have the fin if you want to borrow it.”

What the hell is the shark game, and why does he have a fin? Give a hoot, play the shark game?

Beckett shivered at the very idea. “No thanks, Ash. I don’t like sharks, its why I don’t swim in the beach water. He wouldn’t fall for it.”

Or it could be because its 40 effing degree’s outside.

The three of them pondered another idea.

Alexis sat up on the towel and grinned. “I got it!” she announced.

What, a cold?

Beckett was listening. “Okay…”

She turned to her boyfriend. “Don’t freak out on me, Ash.”

What, are you going to tell her dad that Ash gave her genital warts?

The boy frowned.

“You could totally give dad a heart attack and ask him for permission to marry me,” she grinned.

Yes, what every girl wants is her dad to have a heart attack when a guy asks for permission to marry them.

Ashley smiled. “Yeah, that could work.”

“I want to scare your father,” Beckett reminded them. “Not kill him.”

I’m at the point in this fic that killing Castle could only make the story better.

“Come on, Kate. It will be awesome. Can you imagine scaring dad with that, and I’ve seen Ash take some drama classes, he could pull it off no worries.”

Beckett thought about it. “Alright,” she agreed. She was definitely getting him back for the towel incident. This round was hers for sure.

And how would this make Beckett win if Ash is pulling the prank off and not Kate? This makes no sense.

… … …

Ashley approached Castle at the tent, as he slipped into his shoes.

“Mr. Castle, can I have a word?” the kid looked nervous. Beads of sweat pouring from his face.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Go ahead…”

You might check him for a gun first Ash.

“I was wondering if…” he shifted on his feet and cleared his throat. “I mean I don’t really know how it works. It’s respectful to come to the father and ask permission, but-”

“Ashley, you aren’t making any sense,” he frowned. “Spit it out.”

Did Castle switch places with Bitchy Beckett?

“I um… I was wondering if I could, I know we are young, but I love your daughter, Sir and I want to marry her.”

“Yeah, sure, I mean- you- YOU WHAT?” he stammered realizing what he was asking.

Did Castle become a Marty Sue?

Ashley stepped back looking nervous. “I… I’d treat her well, Sir. I’ll have money. I’ll make sure she goes to college.”

Castle shook his head. “You’re kids. You are too young to get married.”

“On the contrary, Sir, many our age, are marrying.”

Castle ran a hand through his hair. This was too much.

“I have to think about this…” he announced walking away from the boy.

Really, did Body Snatchers steal Castle’s body? Who is this guy named Castle in this story? Do you know how to do characterization at all, or do you just “wing it?”

… … …

“You put them up to this, didn’t you?” Castle accused towering over Beckett.

Yes, because that’s why every parent thinks when someone wants to marry their kid.

She sat up on the towel and looked at him, seemingly oblivious to what he was asking.

“What?”

“It’s your idea of a joke… Ashley and Alexis getting married.”

“What?” she cried. “They’re getting married?”

“LIKE HELL!” he stated.

And now all the campers and sharks know they want to get married. Congrats for announcing it before he asks her, even if its fake.

“What- what are you talking about, Castle.”

“You didn’t put them up to this?” he narrowed his eyes.

“Put them up to what?” she said shaking her head.

“Getting married,” he snapped. Castle looked like he was ready to explode and Beckett almost felt sorry for him. Had it been her child, she would have flipped out too.

Really, would she be mad considering she doesn’t even have a kid to know what her reaction would be.

“Good Lord, no,” she denied. Technically it had been Alexis’ idea. Beckett had learned how to keep a ‘poker face’ and the many suspects she had interviewed over the course of her career, had helped her remain in control at this moment. She gave no hint of a smile, her eyes gave away nothing. She looked at the writer-boy, as if this topic of discussion was new to her.

Castle sank to the sand, a look of horror on his face. “She can’t get married… she’s a baby… she’s MY baby.”

Is Castle now your father and how he would react to you wanting to get married?

Beckett felt a tug at her heart. He obviously cared about his child.

“She’s a woman now, Castle…” Beckett told him.

“Don’t remind me,” he sighed. “To me, she’ll always be my little girl.”

“Well, now she’ll be HIS little girl.”

Wow, that makes Ash sound like a pedophile.

Castle winced. He didn’t like that idea.

“Hey, dad,” Alexis announced appearing at his side. “Ash told me that you said you’d consider the possibility of us marrying,” she smiled.

“I didn’t say that!” he denied.

The smile on Alexis’ face vanished. “I love him dad.”

And that would be oh so more powerful if you had uppercased dad.

“You are SO young, Alexis.”

She turned her face away, and when she turned it back, she was smiling.

“Pranks on you this time, dad!” Alexis laughed.

His heart stopped.

Defibrillator please?

“You put them up to this, didn’t you?” he accused Beckett turning his eyes on her.

She shrugged indifferently and gave away nothing.

This was round was a winner!

This was round? You really need to fire whoever reads over your crap before you post it. Wait, you beta read this yourself didn’t you?

You will think this chapter LAME compared to what’s in store.

I can’t imagine how much more lame it can get.

What happens when a sleeping bag is given to Beckett? I promise you’ll LOVE IT! This has been the chapter I’ve been dying to write since it started, and it’s going to be a doozy! =)

And this is not the chapter I want to read.

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Posted on December 29, 2010, in Clichéd Fic, Mock, stevieLUVSAlex. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. she’s got one thing right. This chapter WAS lame. l-l-l-l-laaaaammmeee!

  2. Hi. I just found this. I think it’s Flippin hilarious!!!! You know how to be honest. I also wondered why you didn’t leave it as a review on the actual story! Sometimes a writer has to take the good with the bad.

    BTW. I’m stevieluvsalex! I’d like to think I’ve improved this then… This story was one of my very first ones and I’m still learning. FF is about having fun and toying around. It doesn’t have to be perfect. But I honestly did enjoy the review, so thanks for sharing. 🙂

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