Richard Castle Cliché’s

Oh Richard Castle. So far on this blog, you’ve remained fairly unscathed when it comes to BadCastleFic coming down on authors way of portraying him. But alas, his time has come, and I shall now nitpick every single thing that fanfic authors do that bug the hell out of me regarding to writing about him. While I understand it’s harder to make him into a Mary Sue since most authors are woman and don’t portray him as themselves. Sadly pretty much all of the Richard Castle clichés find themselves rooted in an episode from season one. For some reasons, authors seem to ignore the almost two years of personal growth that Richard Castle has had and only uses those pesky season one characterizations.

Richard Castle Clichés.

1. Richard Castle is nothing but a nine-year old child stuck in a man’s body and is on a constant sugar rush.

I’ve lost count of how many times some variation of this shows up in a story. It seems to be everyone’s favorite way of describing Richard Castle. It’s a quote that comes from the pilot ‘Flowers for Your Grave’ when Kate Beckett protests against Richard Castle helping her on the case. “He’s like a nine-year old on a sugar rush. Totally incapable of taking anything seriously.” While yes, this was a great way for Andrew Marlowe to introduce viewers to Richard Castle, but it’s not a great way to introduce him to readers. We all know Castle. We all have watched him grow up since season one. While yes, he does have his tendency to revert to being a kid at times. I do remember the utter glee he had on his face as he was going to bust into his loft with the antique pistol he had purchased in ‘Punked.’ But correct me if I am wrong, I haven’t seen him running around the precinct, flailing his arms above his head, jumping on desks, and acting like a hyperactive kid. Sure, at time he’s been distracted by his phone, but who hasn’t? And if you haven’t been able to tell, during the last half of season three, Castle seems to have matured considerably by leaps and bounds. Since Castle has learned how to mature, let’s all learn from his example and discover a new way to describe him. Sure you can use kid at heart, but let’s all stay away from the sugar high nine-year old stuck in a man’s body description.

2. When the occasion calls for going under cover with Kate Beckett, Richard Castle will always buy her an expensive dress to wear.

Once again, another season one cliché. This goes back to one of my favorite episodes, ‘Home is Where the Heart Stops’ where Castle and Beckett go to a fundraiser in order to have access to their donors in hopes of catching the home invasion jewel thieves. In the course of the episode, when Castle presents Beckett the tickets for the fundraiser, he reminds her its black tie and she would need a fancy dress. Not one to miss a beat, Castle catches Beckett’s momentarily surprised look and lie that it wouldn’t be a problem. So thus, he buys her a fancy dress and has it sent over to her apartment. It’s such a sweet, and invasive moment for the two. Sweet that he would know she wouldn’t have the fanciest dress needed for the party and buys her one, but invasive that he knew her size and what to buy her. Don’t know about anyone else, but this is sort of creepy stalkerish move. And whenever I see it pop up in fanfic world, it really makes me cringe. Ladies, I can assure you that 98% percent of men, unless they are gay, or your personal stylist, won’t know your dress size. Sure, they probably know what size of t-shirt to buy you, but dress size? Doubt it. Buying a dress is way more complicated than buying a t-shirt. You’re more likely to be handed money to go buy one instead of them buying one for you.

Besides, why would Castle need to buy Beckett a new dress these days? Have you seen her wardrobe lately? I’m still trying to figure out how a Detective is able to afford expensive Burberry shirts, let alone the $700 Bric duffle bag she had in ‘To Love and Die in LA.’ But that’s beside the point, she doesn’t need him to buy her an expensive dress just to go undercover. I think she’s got that under control right now. So if you are going to go down that clichéd road of going undercover, then do something new and have Kate buy her own dress, and Castle’s tie to match.

3. Richard Castle only writes books at night.

I really have no clue where this cliché comes from. I’m going to go ahead and blame it on the pilot since that’s where the screen capture came from. I’m also thinking this goes along with the thought that Richard Castle spends all his time at the precinct, thus goes home and writes at all hours of the night. I think we’ve seen many times that Richard Castle doesn’t live at the precinct. He does spend time at home and has even gone on vacation to finish writing his book. Remember fans, we only get to see the side of Richard Castle when he’s about to get a call regarding a murder. We never see what Castle does whenever he isn’t solving crimes with the team. He may write for all we know on Saturdays and Sundays. Or even tell Kate he’s busy writing and passes on solving the crime of the week. We don’t know since the show is called Castle and he must be in every episode. I’m still waiting anxiously for that one fanfic to pop up where he turns down Kate’s call because he wants to finish writing instead.

4. Whenever Richard Castle and Kate Beckett go to the loft, Alexis and Martha are away at someone else’s place.

This one comes from one of my twitter followers, @EmilieVitnux. The premises of this cliché is that whenever Castle and Beckett ether go on a date, or he invites her to go home with her after a rough case, the loft is conveniently empty with Alexis staying the night at a friend’s, and Martha is ether on tour or staying the night with her beloved dead Chet. Never fails that the loft is always empty. Wow, why does this never happen to me when I want my house to be empty from my roommates? I’m sorry authors, but rarely will your loft be empty if you share it with other people-especially if one is your daughter, and the other one is your mother. I’d say this is more like a tv trope that you need to hang a lantern on rather than a cliché. Do authors find it wrong that Castle would ever bring Beckett over when Alexis or his mother would be home? They do live on two different levels of the loft, I think it’s okay if he sneaks her into her bedroom while everyone else is asleep.

5. Richard Castle’s Bedroom is located upstairs.

Okay this is a cliché that drives me nuts. While it’s never been shown on-screen where Castle’s bedroom is located, it is however noted in pictures where Castle’s bedroom is located. Here is a link to one picture that shows the side view of his office with the doorway open and showing a peak of his bedroom. Here’s another one showing into his bedroom from his office. I think it’s safe to say his bedroom is off the side of his office. Another example that further reinstate this is during the episode ‘Boom,’ Beckett is seen cooking food in the kitchen and talking to Martha. At the angle the camera is at, you can see where the stairway comes in place to the side of the screen. When Castle comes and joins the conversation, he comes from the opposite side, the same side from where is office is, and not the side Alexis comes from when she comes barreling down the stairs. Another great example is ‘Vampire Weekend,’ you see him getting dressed next to his bed, then the next shot is of him busting out his Malcolm Reynolds impression outside from his office doors. I think that seals the deal that his bedroom is located off the side of his office. So unless Castle does a huge renovating of his loft, and he turns his bedroom into a bigger office, then let’s just keep his bedroom downstairs where it belongs. Besides, if it’s downstairs, then he can safely bring Kate Beckett to visit whenever everyone else is upstairs and not have to worry about being busted.

(Note, thanks to for all the great set pictures to help denounce the myth of Castle’s bedroom location.)

Posted on May 10, 2011, in Cliche Five. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I can’t seem to be able to reach this page from my droid!!!!

  2. Loving these lists. You should also make one for lanie, the wise bff who wants to smack EVERYBODY.

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