Mock the Fic: Beilevable


Words cannot express how I feel about this fic. So thus I offer you a cup of mind bleach to drink at the end, and a toast to bad fics! Bottoms up!

Stats: Title: Beilevable Author: volleyballlove Summary: This is my first fic so plz review I know this is old stuff but i couldnt resist so give it a try What if castle was the best CIA agent? Will they beielve him? Does his family Know the hole Storry? Will kate find his past? sry bad at summarys an grammer Ratings: T

This is my first fic so I am open for reviews

I hope you are also open to mocks too. Oh and please learn how to spell since your title is misspelled.

I know this is old stuff but I couldn’t resist

Since when has Castle been old stuff?

but in this Castle is the best CIA agent.

Like totally the best CIA agent, ever!

Most don’t believe him but they soon will did his family even know the whole story?

Whoa, that sentence makes no sense. And how does his family not know that he’s in the CIA?

Will Beckett find out his past?

Well since you mentioned it, I’m sure she will find out. Can you say predictable?

DISCLAIMER: I sadly don’t own the castle series

Thank-god.

Castle was heading up to the precinct with two cups of steaming coffee in his hands.

Hot Hot Hot.

It’s been a rough week he was thinking about the case they were working on and of course Kate and shlemming.

Dear Author, comma’s are your best friend. Oh and it’s Shlemming. Even if you are making fun of the character, you still capitalize his name.

Ever since Demming showed up no one listens to his theories he’s just ignored past off like some boring incapable person…

Ignored past off? What does that mean?

DING!

The cupcakes are done?

The elevator door opens and just as I’m about to walk of the elevator

He’s walking off the elevator? Ouch

I see Shlemming handing Kate her coffee and she’s smiling looking at the murder board. I already know who killed the victim, but no one will listen.

Pretentious aren’t we Castle?

I step out of the elevator and into the busy bullpen and drop one coffee in the trash.

What, not good enough to give to Esposito or Ryan? Damn, what a waste.

I walk over and try to say something.

You know it’s not that hard to speak, Castle.

Good morning, Beckett

Is this dialogue, or what he wants to say?

Hey, Castle we just caught our killer he confessed.

I’m confuzzled. Are speaking vocally here, or is this just telepathically?

Demming figured out who it was and we brought him in and he confessed.

So is Demming in on the telepathic speaking too?

Castle was furious the brother didn’t kill his other brother and Becketts giving him some credit.

Okay, what just happened here? I’m really confuzzled.

Sorry detectives but your both wrong it’s not how I would right it, said castle.

I’m going to be as nice as I can possibly be, but you’re (notice I used you’re as in you are) dumber than a box of rocks. Your sentences make no sense and you have no imagination or ability of writing what those silly voices in your head tell you to write. How the hell did No Child Left Behind leave you behind?

Rick it’s not one of your books

Wow! By process of elimination, you finally got a you’re/your right. Quick, someone throw confetti!

its reality not some crazy theory and who cares about your ideas you’re not a cop or a detective you’re an author, said demming.

Unlike the reality that the author lives in thinking they can actually write a story.

Kate looks like she was going to say something but closed her mouth. Castle balled his hands into fists. He didn’t even notice the crowd around them watching.

Remember folks, big boys don’t cry.

Just because I’m an author and not a cop doesn’t mean I’m wrong and I know I’m right on this, said castle.

Wow, did Castle just regress in years to become a 14 year old boy again?

Why? Do you know something you’re not sharing Castle? Asked demming

I really don’t know if I can take much more of this story.

Now I’m a suspect! said castle

Before demming could even react he was flat on the ground with a bloody nose and bruised face. Castle didn’t want to knock him unconscious so he punched him square in the face. While Beckett was helping Demming up he started to yell.

Isn’t that called “Assaulting an Officer” and can’t you go to jail for it? Yeah, you shouldn’t hit a cop in a precinct full of cops. But you’re fourteen and wouldn’t know this. Maybe you should commit a crime so you can do some time and get it right.

You just shadow us around you don’t know anything.

Esposito and Ryan were holding him back from hitting demming again.

You mean arresting him?

Castle couldn’t believe they were on his side his supposed to be family turned on him even Kate she didn’t say a thing.

Yeah, I would hardly call my coworkers family. And why is the always out spoken and vocal Kate Beckett quiet?

Richard Castle I’m pressing charges for assaulting an officer, said Demming

Finally! About damn time.

Castle stormed out of the crowded bullpen.

I sure hope there were real bulls in this bullpen since this story really sucks and need some helping.

I wonder what kind of academy you even went to ha! You didn’t even go to one.

What the hell does this mean and where did it come from. Better yet, who the hell said it? Demming? Please tell me they mean Starfleet Academy.

That stopped Castle dead in his tracks he didn’t even turnaround he just shouted.

CAPTAIN PICARD SIGNED MY DIPLOMA!

Actually shlemming I did, I was recruited for the CIA I was the best they even want me to run the CIA. Said castle

Please excuse me for busting up laughing. I just can’t look at this fic the same. Castle running the CIA? And if he was an agent in the CIA, then why is it when something is hinky he blames it on the CIA?

Your actually lucky I didn’t kill you all I had to do was hit one spot!

And your law of averages on getting the right your/you’re is back on track. And what spot would he have to hit?

Oh, and don’t bother trying to find my records you wont.

Because he is lying?

With that castle go on the elevator and left a shocked precinct most laughing they didn’t believe it but they soon would.

Trust me, neither does the readers.

PLZ review any comments it’s my first fic I wasn’t sure how to do each character

Please see above mock for my review.

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Posted on May 11, 2011, in Mock, volleyballlove, who needs grammar?. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I…

    Words escape me. I think he/she needs a new English teacher.

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