Mock the Fic: Katherine Beckett and Richard Castle


YAY These just keep coming and coming. I think it’s self explanatory when I say it’s a season three finale fic, again. This one was written by a 14 year old who really needs to pay more attention in class than writing fanfic. Someone needs to write to Fanfiction.net and ask to implement a higher age restriction. I’m thinking at least 16 or older.

Stats: Title:Katherine Beckett and Richard Castle Author:FlyingHighAboveTheOceanSummary: Really bad but I don’t care. Spoiler for 3×24. Rating: K+

You know it’s bad when the author tells you it’s bad in the summary. Wow. What little faith the author has for their own work.

Two weeks.

Two days.

Two weeks since

Two days since the episode aired and you are already butchering it.

Katherine Josephine Beckett

That’s a new middle name.

was shot while speaking at the funeral of the man who died to save her. Katherine Beckett was still sick to her stomach.

Could that be because she got shot in the stomach?

She could barely eat or move.

Probably not the best when you had a bullet rip it to shreds.

The bullet that hit her two weeks ago went in right below her rib cage.

In other words, stomach.

As of right now, Katherine Beckett was staring off in space as her boyfriend went on about when he was in Haiti.

I thought he didn’t go. Did I miss something?

She didn’t care. If it wasn’t for the fact that she could barely utter a word, she would break up with him.

Because that’s what ever sane girl does after they’ve been shot. Break up with their boyfriends.

Kate took the pad of paper off of the nightstand and the pen next to it. She quickly scribbled out a note.

Painkillers?

‘Were over, leave please.’

I sure hope that’s the painkillers talking and not the education status of the author.

She turned it around for Josh to see. He quickly rushed out of the room.

Crying his eyes out instead of patting her on the head and telling her he would get her more drugs?

Kate sighed and rested her head back on the pillow. Her world soon became fully blackened by sleep.

Right…

She awoke a few hours later to Richard Castle looking at.

Looking at what? Looking at the sentence you ended with a preposition?

“Good morning, Detective.”

Finally we established some time frame besides two weeks.

Beckett smiled. Neither of them have brought up what Castle had said before Beckett passed out.

Right…

“Castle?” “Beckett, your not supposed to be talking.”

I seem to remember Castle giving a you/you’re lecture in the Double Down. Maybe you should go back and re-watch it to learn how to use it correctly.

“I don’t care. Remember what you said after I shot?” “How could I forget?”

Please die for not hitting the enter button after each line of dialogue. Why is this concept so hard for people to understand?

    “Did you4 mean it?”

Did you 4 mean it? Are you using the number four as “for?” I’m confuzzled. Damn text language is ruining how kids write these days.

“How could I not? Kate, I love your willpower to not flinch while you’re staring at cold blood killers,

Or being shot. She never flinched when she was shot. That makes her bad-ass like Chuck Norris. Needless to say, Chuck Norris is afraid of Kate Beckett.

I love that your scared,

YOU’RE! Get it right before I shoot you myself.

I love that your extraordinary, I love that you amaze me every day, I love that I find out something new about you everyday.

You must really have a low SAT score and make your English teacher cry every day. Oh and did you see that, every day is two words not one you idiot.

My point is that I’ve loved you since the day you walked into my book party.

You mean the day she pulled you in for questioning on a murder? Really? Wow I wish I could fall in love with the cop who pulled me over for a speeding ticket.

Kate, I love so much and when you got shot, I thought that I had passed up my chance to tell you that I love you.” Katherine Beckett looked into Richard Castle’s baby blur eyes.

So he is blurring baby eyes? What?

The only thing she saw was hope, hope for what she would say, hope for what would come after, hope for their relationship.

Hope that you would never use the word hope again.

Katherine Beckett smiled. Richard Castle bent his head near his loves. He glanced into her eyes then egulfed her lips in her own.

What is egulfed? Is like eating a really big egg?

They both knew that after this they would never be able to go back to what they were before.

It’s a little hard to go back to what you had before when you are sucking on an egg.

They both knew that both have confessed the romantic tension between them. Both of them knew what the other was thinking. I Love You

Oh so they read minds now?

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Posted on May 18, 2011, in Brain Bleach, FlyingHighAboveTheOcean, grammar, Mock, who needs grammar?. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Oh dear lord, I think my eyes started bleeding about three sentences in. This fic needs a whole new tag – ‘who needs spell check?’. If she had so little faith in it why did she post it in the first place? I want those minutes back. And someone needs to tell the author that repetition should be used *sparingly*.

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