Mock the Fic: I am Nikki Heat Chapter 7
I am just going to warn all my readers, this is bad bad bad bad bad smut. No not the bad smut that leaves you all hot and bothered, not his is the bad kind that makes you want to take a shower to get all the grime off and feel clean again.
***Sorry for the delay, but I was sick all weekend. I rushed through this as fast as I could, don’t know if it will be up to the standards of the previous chapters.
No matter how anxious your fans are, I’m sure they can be patient and wait till you feel better so you can actually write quality work.
Let me know if I let you down, I can handle it. I think..
Let’s be honest, you let me down with the first chapter.
Please tell me Jr. isn’t bouncing around as he jumps around in his room.
He had went to bed last night in only boxers and they did very little to hide his current state of arousal.
“What..when..how..I’m sorry Kate..please don’t be mad at me..” Rick stammered as he paced the bedroom floor, finally locating a robe and wrapped it tightly around his body.
Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera! Oh wait, that show is way older and not around when you were born, so I guess I should say, you’ve been punked!
“Rick..” Kate whispered as she held out a hand to him. “Come here.”
Why isn’t she dying from laughter? I would be in this situation.
He made his way to the bedside and sat beside her, refusing to look at her as she spoke to him.
Shame will do that to a person.
He felt like he had taken advantage of her, and embarrassed for what she had witnessed earlier in the shower, he couldn’t bring himself to look in her eyes as she caressed his hand.
“I remember.” She whispered as she squeezed his hand, “I remember everything.”
Awkward! Hell I feel awkward for just reading this situation.
Kate touched her hand to his face as she continued, ” And, I should be the one apologizing to you. ”
Because I let me inner drunk slutty girl get the best of me and control my every moves? And I’m no expert but I seriously don’t think that when you
“Kate,” Rick whispered as he finally looked at her. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were confused…I’m the one who took advantage of the situation, and for that, I’m truly sorry.”
Oh I need a barf bag.
Kate leaned into him and brushed her lips over his. “You didn’t do anything I didn’t want yo to do.”
Yo yo yo C-Dawg.
She chuckled then added, “Actually, you did do something I didn’t want you to do…you stopped.”
I really am fighting the urge to beat my head on the desk.
Her lips found his again and she moaned into his mouth as she removed the belt from his robe.
Let me go update my virus protection software.
Rick grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap as their tongues began to duel. ‘Nikki Heat has nothing on Kate Beckett’, Rick thought as his hands worked their way under her t-shirt. Kate was grinding against him, ravishing his neck as she slid his robe off.
I about died from laughing how Nikki Heat has nothing on Kate Beckett. They are the same person!
He cupped her breast and she arched into his hands, she raised her arms above her head and he slowly slid the shirt up, kissing the valley between her breast then her neck as he tossed the shirt to the floor.
So he slid her shirt off while still groping her breast and kissing her. Classy man that Mr. Castle is.
“Yes, Castle..” Kate purred as he licked her nipples and his hands dug into the flesh of her hips, holding her against him. He suddenly became aware that his manhood had escaped the fly of his boxers
Yes, that happened by pure accident too.
when she twisted against him again and he felt her moisture touch his bare cock. “God..Kate..so wet..”
Wow I’m sure she would be wetter if you used the ellipsis correctly.
“DAD!…DAD!…DAD!…” Rick’s cellphone screamed to him from across the room.
Okay seriously, you are about to make me want to come and hunt you down and smack you with a style book until your black and blue. Don’t use ellipsis and an exclamation mark at the same friggin time.
“That’s Alexis..” He said between kisses. “I need to get it.”
And nothing like a phone call from your kid to make your dick limp.
Kate laughed as she removed her legs from around his waist, allowing him to get up. “Tell her I said hey.”
How about telling her you’ve got your memory back and feel much better?
Once he located his phone, he pressed ‘Call’ under Alexis’ name. She picked up immediatly. “Hey pumpkin. Is something wrong?”
I sure hope you picked it up immediately and not however the way you spelled it.
“No, I just wanted to call and let you know that they aressted the guy that hit Kate.”
They did what with the guy who hit her?
The teen announced excitedly. “How is she doing?”
“She’s fine..She told me to tell you she says hey.”
“So..she’s back? She remembers?” Alexis held her breath as she waited for her father to reply.
Oh, yeah, sorry forgot to let you know that important detail.
“Yes, and she’s fine. Listen, I need to go. Lanie and the guys will probably be calling soon to check in and I better start packing, looks like we will be home sooner than I thought…OK, I will.. Love you too pumpkin. Bye.”
And that is what we call hanging up on your daughter.
Rick turned back towards the bed and saw Kate streatched
out on her side, completely nude, smiling as she patted the bed beside her.
And now I have bad mental images in my head.
She noticed how the tent in his shorts rose and fell as his heart pumped blood to his erection, and she bit down on her lower lip to supress a groan.
It’s hard to make this lemony fic good when I can’t get past all the spelling mistakes.
“Alexis said they aressted
Seriously, how hard is it to spell arrested?
the guy that ran you over, and uh..she wanted me to tell you she’s glad you are ok and she loves you.” Rick rambled out as he retied his robe. “They guys will be calling soon and we need to get ready.”
And that also is a mood killer. Might as well have some kids come hurdling into the room yelling “Mommy! Daddy!”
“What’s wrong?” Kate ask. “Why are you avoiding me now?”
Maybe because you aren’t acting like yourself still.
“I’m not avoiding you, Kate. It’s just…this can’t happen.” He said as he motioned between the two of them.
This can’t happen because both of us need help, major psychiatric help.
“Why not Castle?” She shouted as she got up in his face. “Talk to me dammit!” Using her cop voice, she poked his chest in anger.
I hardly count pouting as using a cop voice. Last I checked, cops don’t pout when they question suspects.
“You promised me all these things last night, about how you would be there for me always, that you love me with your whole heart and soul.”
No I believe he was mostly humoring you while you thought you were Nikki Heat.
“That’s all true, Kate..Everything I said to you is true…but”
Okay the ellipsis should be moved to the end of the word “but.” Then I would’ve applauded you your attempt of using an ellipsis correctly.
“But what? Spit it out Castle! Why can’t we be together?”
Because you’re bat shit emotionally crazy.
One word left his lips as he looked deep into her eyes. “Josh.”
Really? That’s all you can come up with is Josh?
He felt her relax and a smile spread across her face. “We broke up about two months ago.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Rick reached up to caress her face, and she leaned into his touch.
Because then you would’ve slept with her in the hospital bed.
“I guess I didn’t tell you because I knew what would happen, and I wasn’t ready to deal with that yet.” She admitted as she pulled him back towards the bed.
And now that you are on pain killers you are ready to face that pain? Yeah, sorry honey, pain killers won’t help your emotional bat shit craziness.
“And now you are? What changed your mind all of a sudden detective?” The desire that filled his eyes just moments before, was now masked by questions.
“You did.” She whispered against his lips and once again freed him from his robe. “Last night, when my memory returned to me in the form of dreams,
Bwahahahaha really? Dreams?
I realized you were always there. And when I woke up this morning in your arms, I felt safe.”
And lost and confused.
“Pah..na..na..nun..na..nun..nah..nun..nah..Pah..na..na..nun..na..nah..” Rick’s phone once again rang out, but this time he chose to ignore it.
Really? That’s his ringtone? He sang it once. ONCE!
“It’s Esposito, he can leave a message.” Rick said as he joined her on the bed. Their phones began to take turns beeping and ringing but they didn’t care. “I do love you Kate Beckett.”
Aww nothing like the romantic music of ringtones to say I love you to.
“And I love you Richard Castle.” Kate said as she removed his boxers. “Make love to me, my one and done.”
I officially just lost my entire breakfast, lunch and dinner. Wait, has she been topless the whole time?
“Always.” Rick promised as he positioned himself above her and captured her lips in a fiery kiss. Her hands dug into his hair and her tongue plunged into his mouth. She pulled one leg up, to create some friction between their sexes,
Friction between their sexes? Really? Did you seriously just use the word sexes?
and her hips copied the actions of her mouth.
Rick lightly ran his hand down her side, avoiding her bruises as he made his way to her heat.
Am I reading a Harlequin Romance novel written by a virgin?
He slowly inserted one finger and they both let out a gasp.
So when did her shorts come off?
Kate raised her injured arm above her head and closed her eyes as Rick nibbled down her chest. In and out, shallow than deep, his single finger pumped into her core, then he added another. “Yes! Castle..more..”
No really, when did her shorts and undies come off?
His mouth left her breast
What was he doing, breast-feeding himself?
and her body quivered as he neared her navel and she felt him smile against her skin. She bucked off the bed when he dipped his tongue into her bellybutton
Yeah, putting your tongue in a belly button is not sex.
and she twisted beneath him, craving attention a little further south.
Rick withdrew his moistened fingers and licked her juices from them.
No words can describe this.
Kate watched as he did this and it turned her on more. He noticed her watching him intently so he repeated the process. Pushing into her again, he went as deep into her as his fingers would go..”GOD! YESS! soo good..” Kate moaned and raised her ass off the bed, begging for more.
I would like a wine glass filled with bleach please.
This time, when he pulled out of her, he massaged some of her juices onto her swolled nub, then eased his mouth down to her as his still moist hand traveled back up her body.
I really want a time machine to go back in time and prevent this author from writing this. Where does she get her material? Obviously it’s not from having real sex, and if it is, then she needs to find a better boyfriend.
She grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand to her lips. She could smell her arousal on his fingers and she pulled them into her mouth, tasting herself.
I really am not drunk enough for this shit.
Rick could tell she was close and when she began to roughly suck his fingers,
So you can tell she’s getting close to the big o by her sucking your fingers? Is there a suck-o-meter you use to tell when you’re about to orgasm?
so he did the same to her nether region.
Did you seriously use nether region during your sex scene? I’m sure the double meaning the word really means that we are going to hell for reading this fic.
She released his hand and took hold of his hair as she felt herself begin to fall. Rick lightly squeezed a nipple between his finger and thumb as he sucked harder and harder on her clit.
“AHHH!..” Kate screamed and her body quaked violently as she rode out her orgasm. “Rick..oh God..yesss…”
I need a shower to get this grimy nasty fic off of me.
Rick removed his mouth from her sensitve bud and eased his fingers back inside, wanting to feel her walls as they contracted. “Kate, I can’t hold out much longer..” He moaned as he felt her inner muscles gripping his fingers.
Well we all know how good of a masturbator you are.
Kate quickly sat up and spun around, pinning him beneath her. She crushed her lips to his and spoke unevenly as she trailed kisses down his neck. “Soo good..umm..more..” Tilting her ass up into the air as she pushed backwards, aligned his cock up perfectly to her still throbbing core.
Wait, what? She put her ass up in the air and then sat on his cock? What?
Rick eased the head into her opening and she reangled her hips then sat back on him. His hands dug into her hips, trying to hold her still, taking a moment to gain some control. Kate was wanting none of that, she raised herself up, braceing her hands on his chest, and took him in as deep as he could go.
“Please, hold still for just a minute Kate. It’s too much..feels too good..” He pleaded with her as he took deep claming breaths.
How does one take claming breaths? Is it like clam shells?
When he opened his eyes, he saw her smiling down at him, then he nodded. Kate began to move her hips back and forth, relaxing her inner muscles and just enjoying the feeling of him being deep inside her. The movement, though small, quickly had her humming and arching her back.
Rick pulled her to his chest and rolled them over, swapping positions. He now looked down at her as he grasp her thigh and pulled her leg up higher, creating a better angle for both of them. He softly kissed her lips as he pushed in deeper, hitting all the right spots. “I love you so much Kate.” Rick confessed as he pulled out, making sure to hit her g-spot during his retreat, then paused.
“Love you too..” Kate moaned and her eyes filled with tears. “Don’t stop..don’t ever stop..”
Well eventually you have to stop. Last I checked you aren’t practicing the Kama Sutra
“Never stop.” Rick promised as he set a faster rythum.
“God! You’re so perfect…so beautiful..so strong..” He puncuated
every statement with a deep thrust.
And that ruins all good punctuation marks.
“Rick!” Kate screamed out and wrapped her good arm around his neck, holding him tight to her as she fell.
“Yes..damn..soo tight..” Rick made a few more thrusts until he followed her over the edge, then eventually stilled, holding his weight off her but not breaking their union. He brushed her hair away from her face and they just looked at each other, smiling.
After a few chaste kisses and words of admiration, Rick eased out of her and sat up on the edge of the bed.
Really you’ve never had sex have you?
he reached for his phone and laughed. “Ten new text messages and three missed calls.”
And that’s just what a girl wants a guy to do after having sex, pull out his phone and check his messages.
Kate rolled to her side and found her phone. “Same here.”
How sexy, checking messages after sex.
They fell back onto the bed as they read the texts aloud to each other and laughed as they devised a plan to deal with the busy bodies of the 12th.
The bodies at the 12th? Are all their friends dead or something?