Mock the Fic: I am Nikki Heat Chapter 10
Wow, did hell freeze over? I think this author is actually using a beta reader. Too bad the beta reader doesn’t get rid of the creepiness of this fic and how out of characters the characters are acting. This one is a short piece and didn’t give me much to mock. But alas, I can’t skip a single chapter of this atrocious fic. This one is mildly lemon flavored but not enough to make you want to throw up.
Kate had just eased into the tub when she heard Rick knock at the door.
Is this all she does is take baths?
She chuckled as she told him to come in.
And she is laughing why?
He held a book under one arm, her medicine and a glass of water in his hands.
Wow, a glass of water while in a bath. How romantic. At least he could bring her a Champagne glass of ginger ale.
She raised up to take the glass from him and heard him sigh as he watched the patch of bubbles slowly slide down her chest.
A sigh? Really?
A smile crept upon her lips and she sat up straighter just to mess with him a little more.
Anyone else embarrassed that we are reading this fic? Yeah, so am I.
“Good lord woman…” Rick growled as he handed her the pills and water. “If you don’t want company in there, you better take this and let me go.”
Last I checked, she didn’t have you handcuffed to the toilet, forcing you to endure her long torturous bath.
She quickly downed her medicine and handed him back the empty glass. “We can’t have that, not with your mother and daughter in the next room, so just hand me the book and go.”
No we can’t have that, especially when your readers are reading this.
Rick gave her his sad face as he handed the book to her. “Don’t you want me to read to you?”
Only when its books on tapes.
“Castle, I just finished reading this book for the third time right before I had my accident.” Kate told him when she noticed the book he had brought her was none other than ‘Naked Heat’.
Wow, reading it three times and yet she still acted out of character and slutty. Wow, I guess she must have sucked in school when it came to book reports.
“That explains a lot about your actions the past couple days then.”
No, it doesn’t. She was slutty and last time I read Naked Heat, Nikki Heat wasn’t slutty.
He knelt down and leaned into her face,
Talk about invading a personal bubble.
his hand played with the bubbles that floated near her breast. “You had just read the ending, where Nikki comes home to her apartment and finds Rook sitting at the dinning table working on his article.”
Dining room table. I have no clue what a dinning is.
His hand dipped beneath the bubbles and lightly touched her chest with his fingertips as he continued his monologue. “Nikki walked over to Rook and laced her arms around his neck.” His voice was almost a whisper as his wet, soapy fingers traveled up her neck. Kate closed her eyes and leaned her face into his touch when he cupped her cheek. “Rook then says if he’d known he wasn’t going to get any work done he wouldn’t have came over. Then he tilted his face to hers and they kissed.”
Has he been doing all this reading while lurched over the bathtub? Looks like someone else will be taking Kate’s pain killers in the morning.
Kate felt the soft touch of his lips on hers as he acted out the words he had just spoken. Her body tingled when his tongue traced her lower lip and she opened her mouth to him immediately. The kiss grew in intensity and his hand slipped back below the suds, teasing her nipple until he felt it harden.
I hate to tell Castle this, but I’m sure his family will know what he’s done since I’m sure the front of his shirt is wet.
“Castle…” Kate moaned out his name when she felt his hand move over to the other breast. “We can’t do this…your mother and Alexis…”
Sure, why not? It’s not like you aren’t supposed to be using the ellipsis at every whim and look at you break that rule. So why not have sex with the family in the same loft?
“I know, but I as soon as they go to bed, we are finishing this.” He gave her a quick kiss then got up, dried his hand, and left her alone to enjoy her bubble bath.
Oh yes like them being in bed makes it so much better to have sex.
Martha and Alexis were sitting at the bar grinning at him as he walked up to them. “I thought you were taking that book in for Kate to read.” Alexis said when she noticed he still had it in his hand.
Yes, he did that, and then did some over the bubble petting too.
“She uh, she changed her mind about reading.”
“Poor thing must be exhausted.” Martha muttered as she glanced over at Alexis and they shared a chuckle.
If only you knew.
“Yeah dad, so take it easy on her for a while. You guys can make up for lost time once she is fully re cooperated.”
Oh that is just wrong coming from his daughter. WRONG!
“Me take it easy on her?” Rick just shook his head as the two red heads continued to smile at him. “You should be having this talk with Kate, not me. She’s the one that…”
And then you just jumped way over the creepiness line.
“AHH!” Alexis squealed and covered her ears to drown out her father’s voice. “La la la la lah..”
If only we could bleach this scene out of our brain.
Rick placed his hands over his daughters and pulled them away from her ears. “I was just going to say that she’s the one that insisted on us coming home tonight instead of relaxing Oceanside for one more day.”
Nice try at a save, but no one believes you Castle.
Alexis tiptoed and kissed her father’s cheek. “Love you daddy, goodnight.”
“I guess I should go on up also.” Martha announced when she saw Kate emerge from the master bedroom. “Sleep tight everyone.”
You mean the office?
Three voices called back to the her, bidding her a goodnight as she sauntered up the stairs to her room. Then Alexis walked over to Kate and placed a hand on her forearm. “Nite Kate, Love you.”
That’s a bit awkward to hear from someone whose father you just started dating.
Kate wrapped her arms around Alexis and gave her a little squeeze. “Love you too Lex. Goodnight.”
Rick now stood by Kate’s side as they watched the youngest Castle make her way up the stairs and he put an arm around her waist. “What do you say about turning in for the night as well Detective?”
Why do I feel like the lights are only being turned down for sex?
She turned in his embrace and touched her lips to his briefly. “I say that’s a wonderful idea.”