Category Archives: AriesOx17

Mock the Fic: The Chick and the Surfer part 5

Our La Quinta Inn story is coming to an end. I’m sad. Really, I’m heartbroken. Now how am I going to get a free night stay and breakfast while on vacation? I’m going to warn you though, this one is sappy and double clichéd. You have been forewarned

Stats: Title: The Chick and The Surfer Author: AriesOx17 Summary: The blue-eyed surfer meets the amber eyed chick. Rating: T

Epilogue: Better Than Expected

We can debate on this.

-Five years later, 2004-

Wow, did we hop into a DeLorean and crank up Mr. Fusion and the Flux Capacitor and go back in time?

As Kate wrapped work for the day at her gallery, she reflected on how much her life has changed. It had turned out better than Kate had expected.

Wow, did she finally get rid of those bedbugs she caught while staying in the La Quinta Inn?

Before she introduced Rick to her parents, she wasn’t sure what they would think of him.

Probably that he was a lazy bum.

However, it was the opposite. Both Johanna and Jim had approved him right away, which was a bit unexpected. In the past Jim had been the one to glance a weary look at most of Kate’s past boyfriends.

Wow, did the body snatchers get her parents?

After telling them about her plans, they knew their little girl had grown up and it was best to let her explore life on her own.

Awww how cute of her parents.

Once Kate had packed what she needed, exchanged tearful goodbyes with Lanie and Madison promising to keep in touch, she and Rick headed back to California. Everything went according to plan and they were taking the relationship slowly, not wanting to screw up what they have.

Let me guess they drove back from New York to California in a rusted VW Beatle?

They had settled into a routine and a friend of Rick’s uncle, Marissa Rocké, hired Kate as her assistant at an art gallery nearby.

What kind of last name is Rocké? Did they add the accent after the movie Rocky?

Then three months into the arrangement, life happened; she became pregnant.

Of course because KBecks doesn’t know what birth control is. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: The Chick and the Surfer part 4

Wow this is a fic that we haven’t seen in a while! I was surprised to see it pop up on the fanfic radar. I figured it was a DOA fic. I guess it still has a little bit of life left in it. And look! La Quinta Inn is getting more free advertisement on my blog! I demand my complimentary breakfast buffet at Dennys.

Stats: Title: The Chick and The Surfer Author: AriesOx17 Summary: The blue-eyed surfer meets the amber eyed chick. Rating: T

Next morning the sun rays shone through the shades waking Kate up first.

Oooh whose bed is she waking up in?

Last night had been steamy, beyond anything Kate would have imagined.

I’m guessing we aren’t at the La Quinta in right now.


Why the frak do authors use “whilst?” What’s wrong with the word while?

watching Rick, she thought last night was incredible. His muscular arms are so dreamy and the way he moved his hands…wow! Who knew he was talented in so many ways?

I hope you wore protection because if he’s talented in so many ways then that might mean he’s also diseased in so many ways too.

She continued to watch him sleep. However, it wasn’t long before Rick awoke.

I have creepy stalker visions of her watching him sleep.

“Good morning sugar.”

Yes, we just met and had sex and now you want to call me sugar. Sure! Why not, Honey Bunny!

“Good morning to you too handsome.”

I feel like puking.

“Last night was…” began Kate but Rick finished the sentence.


Puke bag please!

The two of them lay there in bed, Rick contentedly holding Kate in his arms.


Over the next several days, it seems the two of them became even closer since consummating their relationship.

Wow I feel sorry for the La Quinta maids who have to clean the bed after those two.

She would visit him when he was at work and they would spend as much time together as possible and getting to know each other.

Technically does he even work?

If they weren’t able to meet up then, he would tell her the best places for her and her friends to visit; however, nothing came close to the San Francisco trip they took.

I’m sure her parents would so approve of her taking along the guy she just slept to San Francisco on the trip they are paying for.

After having a fun filled three-week adventure in California, it was time for Kate, Lanie, and Madison to head back to New York.

So sad, too bad.

Two nights before they left, Kate (aside from packing) spent all of her remaining time with Rick.

Once again, poor maid staff.

The two of them were sitting quietly at his place, cuddling and enjoying each other’s presence.


Then out of nowhere, Rick gathered up his courage to ask one of many important questions.

“Do you have any STD’s?”

“Kate, my love, please move in with me?”

Wow! That’s smart, let’s move in with the guy we just met! And to think I thought at least dating for more than a week was needed to move in with someone.

Kate lifted her head and looked at him unable to say anything.

“But I haven’t had the time to run a proper credit check on you…”

When she was able to say something she said, “I don’t know. This is kind of sudden.”

“Or a STD test.”

Rick nodded; he understood; this was a big step for the both of them.

Or he needed to get a refill on that penicillin test.

“I would have to move away from the life I know in New York, and away from my parents and…”

Rick placed his right index finger on Kate’s lips and he said, “Shh, okay how about you go back and pack enough stuff for a few months say six, if our relationship does not work then you can return to New York.”

Wow, since when did a few months become six?

Kate was bowled over.

Glad she’s not a bowling pin.

Here was the sweetest and most handsome guy giving her an offer she couldn’t bear to turn down.

It’s really easy, you say: “NO!” Or: “Why don’t you come stay with me?”

“Okay, I accept. I was wondering if you would like come with me to meet my parents?” asked Kate.

“Mom, Dad! This is the guy that gave me that STD!”

Mock the Fic: The Chick and the Surfer part 2

This fic has turned from just an AU to having serial killer undertones.Lets just say that Kate Beckett will ignore everything us women have ever been taught. But don’t say I didn’t warn her when she gets killed and her body is dumped on the side of some abandoned rode in Down Town, NY.

Stats: Title: The Chick and The Surfer Author: AriesOx17 Summary: The blue-eyed surfer meets the amber eyed chick. Rating: T

There in front of them stood their hunky instructor. He was tall with dark brown hair, piercing blue eyes and his chiseled torso and arms showing through his button down shirt.

All three, Kate in particular had to fan themselves even though it was on the cool side in Santa Cruz that day.

Well someone is fueling the male ego.

“My name is Rick Castle. Is there a Ms. Kate Beckett amongst you?” asked the hunky surfer.

And if you hadn’t seen that one coming then I have some swamp land in Florida to sell you.

Kate froze; the surfer was asking for her and yet she can’t move.

If this had been my friends they would’ve laughed and tossed me to the front.

“Um, I am,” said Kate before she could stop herself.

“Well Ms. Beckett, it looks like you and your friends are the lucky ones today. So if you want, I can give you a personal one-on-one lesson and arrange one for each of your friends.”

Is that what the cool kids are calling it these days?

All three of them gaped.

Kate thought this is too good to be true. He is too cute to pass this up.

Lanie and Madison thought Kate is so lucky to have an instructor immediately take interest in her.

And once again I’m sure at this point my friends would all tell him that they were all me. I have such lovely friends. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: The Chick and The Surfer

Let’s take a crack at mocking an AU fic. Although in my opinion all the crap fics we mock here are AU, but this one specifically mentions the fact that it is an AU. I shall warn you, this has a rant by me about a certain theme park that shall remain nameless in this section that I hate and want my money back from going to visit there. Meanwhile back on the ranch, this fic sure is such a fun one to mock. So let’s sit around the camp fire and hear about the stories of what if Kate Beckett…

Stats: Title: The Chick and The Surfer Author: AriesOx17 Summary: The blue-eyed surfer meets the amber eyed chick. Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle, Andrew W. Marlow and ABC do.

Thank-God they do because I’d hate to see what you would do with the show if it was in your hands.

Author’s Note: Total AU story idea. A random story idea that wouldn’t leave me alone.

This is what bothers you at night? I’d hate to see what idea’s you forget about.

What if Kate’s mother had not been murdered and both Rick and Kate had different careers. No Sorenson or Demming in this story.

No Demming? 😦

A/N 2: First chapter is a set up of what is to come. I apologize for making Kate, Lanie, or Madison a bit OCC.

They are Obsessive Compulsive Cats? Orange County Choppers? Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics?

Beta’d by: Beckett NYPD

Well then I demand perfection!

Life is good. Kate Beckett and her friends Lanie Parish and Madison Queller were enjoying the California sun.

Oh good for them. That’s just wonderful.

Kate’s parents gave Kate and her two best friends a three-travel package to California for her, Lanie and Madison as a graduation gift.

Wow, and to think all I got for graduation was a blue topaz ring and a card.

It was natural for them to go together as they have been inseparable since grade school.

Well I’m sure it would be since I’m sure her parents bought it as a travel package for them to go together!

They spent one week in San Diego and Los Angeles and two weeks in Northern California.


In San Diego they went to Sea World,

Ugh, don’t remind me how much I hate Sea World. Most disappoint theme park ever! Don’t even get me started on this place. I could rant for hours. I’m double sure Castle would never subjugate his daughter to going to Sea World, let alone Kate Beckett lowering herself to go there. Oh and I call it Puke World because I swear some kid always throws up there. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: A Special Gift part 2

This fic started out as a Guest Mock by MysteryCastleFanFic3000, but it just been teasing me with updates that I just had to take over and continue mocking it. Sorry MysteryCastleFanFic3000 We all know how much I loathe Baby Fics. This has a new cliché in it, let’s see if you can find that cliché! If you figure out the cliché, send me a tweet @BadCastleFic to let me know!

Stats: Title: A Special Gift Author: AriesOx17 Summary: Kate recevies a surprise that could change her life. Rating: T

As Kate cradled the newborn that she realized she was going to need help. She knew just the two people in particular who could help.

Would that be child services and a hospital?

Luckily still had her jacket on and fished out her phone and made the first call.

Oh look, she has child services in her phone, right?

Meanwhile as Rick prepping ingredients to make dinner with Alexis, his cell rang.

Once he got the phone out of his pocket he smiled and answered.

Um, HBIC, Castle isn’t child protective services.

“Detective Beckett, miss me already?”

“Cut it out Castle,” said Beckett whilst rolling her eyes.

That’s right Castle, cut it out and go get a phone book and look up Child Protective Services phone number.

“What do I owe the pleasure of this call Detective?”

“Well, I was wondering if you and Alexis were free at the moment.”

Why the hell do you want Alexis? Just because she took care of an egg doesn’t mean she can take care of a kid. And if I remember right, HBIC spent most of the time taking care of that damn egg.

Read the rest of this entry

Guest Mock the Fic: A Special Gift

Okay we are back baby! I know I said it last time but this time it’s for real! New laptop is up and running and it’s time to get the BadCastleFic back up and running. And good news, we have a guest mock to get us up and running again. So here is MysteryCastleFanFic3000 with our newest m

Stats: Title: A Special Gift Author: AriesOx17 Summary: Kate recevies a surprise that could change her life. Rating: T

You know you’re in for a bad one when the bizarre spelling mistakes show up in the summary.

Read the rest of this entry

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