Category Archives: becksbiggestfan

Mock the Fic: Til There Was You Chapter 1


After a nice New Years break, how about we start off fresh with a new clichéd story. Aren’t we all excited? I know I am. Nothing gets my year started on the best foot forward than a clichéd fic!

Stats: Title: Til There Was You Author: becksbiggestfan Summary: Elise Smith. Eleven years old. Missing: Ten years. Age when disappeared: 1 year and a month. Head Detective: Michael Cortez. Prime suspects: Jimmy Toole, and father Creg Smith. Both houses searched. No signs of the girl. This case hit personal for Kate. Rating: K+

 

How about some mocking? Mocks are always fun!

Kate sat at her desk typing up her report. Rick sat next to her in his chair talking about Alexis’s new boyfriend and she was only half listening.

Once again, I feel like the author thinks we are 5 year olds and needs to be talked down to and belittled.

Her phone rang and she lunged for it, thankful for the distraction.

Why did she lunge for the phone, was someone else going to fight her for it? And when you say lunged for it, did she dive on her desk and throw everything off to make sure she answers it first?

“Beckett. Uh huh. What? Are you sure? Manhattan General? I’ll be right there.”

Wow, what drama.

The phone call had definitely shaken her up, and she didn’t waste the time to hang the phone back on its receiver.

So she what, just threw it down and left it dangling off the desk?

Instead, snatching her badge and coat and racing to the elevator. Rick just barely made it through the closing doors.

Wow, for the first time ever in an elevator history did the doors actually close as soon as she stepped in the moment it opened up?

“Kate? What happened?” He asked quietly. As an answer she pulled him into a hug.

Wow, out of character much? I sure hope she starts hugging everyone who walks by and then gives her life story.

His warmth comforted her, and when they finally stepped off the elevator, her make up was a little smeared.

What, is she crying? I would be too if I couldn’t spell makeup.

Finding her car in the parking lot, Rick realized his question still hadn’t gotten an answer, so he asked her again.

Does anyone else know really what’s going on in this story?

She stopped, the key turned in the lock, after a second like that she pulled the car open and turned it on.

She pulled the car open? Did she go all Hulk on it and rip the door off in a whole second? Read the rest of this entry

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