Category Archives: edha1721

Mock the Fic: Lunch with the Castles

Fear not my fellow Bad Castle Fic Fans. I am back-well as back as I can be. Sometimes those bad fics just get to you and you either have to step away and take a break, or go insane and have to wear a pretty white jacket with long sleeves. So I shall be stepping back into the reign to help everyone with the upcoming finale-which I’m sure is going to post some horrendous fics to mock.

Now, on to the mock!

Stats: Title:Lunch with the Castles  Author: edha1721 Summary: Rick and Kate are married and have a baby this is a typical day for them pure Fluff This is my first story hope you like it Rating: K

Lunch with the Castles

Hoo-boy! We are going to have lunch with the Castle’s.

Rick and kate have been together about 2 years they are married and have a little girl named Johanna 3 months old

Oh crap I hate this author already. Wow, how many violations are in that line above? Let’s see, no uppercase letter in Kate’s name, no comma’s, not spelling out numbers under ten, and the worst cliché, naming their kid Johanna.


Rick and Johanna enter the precinct

Wow, is she walking already at three months old?

and proceed up to the bullpen to surprise Kate and take her for lunch,

I hate it when authors tell their stories like I’m a three-year old and don’t take the time to make it sound eloquent and less demanding and demeaning.

it takes Rick about half an hour to reach the bullpen everybody wants to see Johanna and give there congratulations.

Where’s my gun? I really want to kill this author. A kid in 2nd grade knows the difference between using there, their, and they’re. Please, for the love of Pete, get a beta reader!

On entering the bullpen Rick sees Esposito and Ryan but not Kate so he goes to the boys to say Hello

Why did I suddenly hear Jon Stewart doing his Queen of England impersonation when I read the hello part? I blame it on the capital h in hello. Random.

“Hi boys where Kate” and he puts Johanna in her baby seat on the desk.

Oh look fans, Caveman Castle is back! Caveman Castle says: “Me want Kate!” Read the rest of this entry

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