Category Archives: holiday

Mock the Fic: 1 Kiss, That’s It

You know it’s going to be a great fic when the author can’t spell out the number one. I will admit, I love to text. But I hate how teenagers think that they can still use their text lingos in their stories. No, you can’t. Unless you are writing what someone sent the character in a text message, or an email, then don’t use text message short hand! I will warn you, this author thinks that how you write dialogue on twitter, is how you can write a story, and randomly shortens names of our characters. YAY!

Stats: Title:1 Kiss, That’s It Author:naomingaii Summary: My take on Castle&Beckett’s first kiss : I’m a new writer, so please be easy with me Rating: K+

It was February the 14th, and everyone knew what day that was.

A Monday?

It was Valentine’s Day, but for Kate is was a quiet day, Valentine’s Day reminded Kate of her mother.

Oh lovely, it’s another wonderful Castle story where Kate can’t stand the holidays because of her mother.

Kate just buried herself in paper work, until she heard her Captain call her into his office.

Oh I see the Captain got a megaphone for Valentine’s Day and decided to test it out in the office.

She walked into his office, head down and playing with her fingers.

And why is she acting like a guilty felon?

Cap. Mont: “Beckett, go home. Just take a break.”

Oh it’s a double whammy of a winner fic! We get an author who thinks that the way you write a twitter conversation is the way you write a story. Somewhere in the world, the authors English teacher is committing suicide.

Kate: “But-”

Cap. Mont: “Its an order, I know you’re having a bad day. Go home.”

And since when did start shorting Montgomery’s name down to Mont? Is he trying to be all cool and suave and be the pen maker Mont Blanc? Sadly I don’t think the author even knows who Mont Blanc is and would need it to be explained in pictures and small words.

Kate: “Thanks.”

And just like that, she’s just going to leave and go home. Wow, did the Pod People take Beckett’s body over and replace her with a push over?

Kate headed back to her desk and grabbed her jacket. Castle also knew what day it was and seeing Kate like this burned him. He cared about Kate, more then anyone knows, he may even love her.

So how is it he loves Kate more then anyone knew? Oh, you meant than instead of then. I see you failed the proper use of then and than in 2nd grade. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Not Quite Clarence

Merry Christmas to all my BadCastleFic fans! I hope Santa brought grammar books to all our favorite bad authors! Here is a Christmas fic to honor the holiday. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanza! Robot Santa will be visiting everyone with lots of goodies! I apologize, WordPress is having issues today and won’t let me format this post. Merry Christmas to me, thanks WordPress.

Title: Not Quite Clarence Author: Championship Vinyl Summary: CHRISTMAS oneshot! The holidays are always a little harder on Kate Beckett. Kevin Ryan sees his job as making hard things a little bit easier. Even if it requires being a pest sometimes. 😀 Please read and review. Happy holidays! Rating: K+

A whirl of snow blew down the street, and Kevin tightened the thick grey scarf around his neck, wondering why he always wondered what he was doing when he did this.

He’s wondering why he wondered what he was doing? If he doesn’t know what he’s doing when he’s tightening his scarf, then maybe he should check himself in to a mental facility since I think his hands are trying to strangle himself.

Or something.

Or something.

The station was officially closed,

Do they really close a police station in New York? And why would they be closing it, is it a special day or something?

at least to everyone but the most necessary patrol officers,

In other words, those who don’t have a family or a life. I wonder if HBIC is at the precinct?

working the shortest possible shifts, manning phones, monitoring paperwork. Captain Montgomery had come out of his office at eleven that morning, buttoned his overcoat, flashed them a smile for the season, and all but kicked his detectives off the premises until December twenty-sixth, no exceptions allowed.

So I am guessing that its Christmas eve? You know, if you were a better writer you would’ve set this up better.

Before anyone could even manage a ‘thanks,’ practically,

a thanks practically? How practically is a thanks?

the Cap was out the door himself, off to a Christmas with the wife, the kids, big dinners and warm fires and good brandy; all the right clichés.

Really? All the right clichés? Does this mean that he will dress up as Santa too?

It definitely wasn’t a present to waste, and Kevin hadn’t. He’d been with Jenny all day, and his mother and dad and sisters were all still back at the apartment together, cleaning up Eve dinner and talking about God only knew what, and Kevin was sure he probably wouldn’t want to know even if they offered.

Wow, that was a mile long run on sentence.

Now, it seemed he was the only one on the bustle on the streets who wasn’t going home: everywhere around him, there were people with shopping bags and boxes, in groups and alone, in ratted hoodies and expensive furs and ducking into taxis.

What the hell is wrong with you that you have to have twenty subjects happening in one sentence? You can have more than one sentence. Trust me, Fanfiction doesn’t charge by the sentence.

Their days were all done already. But him, he had one thing left. Something he’d done for three years now, and it was too important not to be his priority right now, even in the cold and light flurrying snow of eight-thirty at night. Because above all, Kevin Ryan still believed in Christmas.

Is that like believing in Santa?

Crossing his arms around him for warmth, Kevin turned up the corner, squinting to make sure he was approaching the right address. Last year, before the freak bomb incident, he hadn’t had to check. Things changed. He was okay with acknowledging that.

He’s okay with acknowledging that her apartment blew up? Wow, it’s a real man to be able to acknowledge an apartment blowing up. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Undercover part 1

I don’t understand the need to crossover two shows that obviously have nothing in common and shouldn’t be crossed over. I get the idea of crossing Law and Order characters over with Castle (ooh McCoy as our DA on Castle? AWESOME!) But crossing Castle with Glee makes me want to bang my head against the wall and go WTF?! Obviously these two don’t exist in the same universe, or genre. And I will be seriously disturbed and will cry “JUMP THE SHARK!” if we have a music episode of Castle. So folks, if you can’t tell, we have yet another Glee/Castle crossover fic. Why the hell anyone picks this pairing is beyond me. I know I said I was taking the holiday weekend off, but I had too many people tell me about this fic and ask me to mock it asap that I present a “special” Saturday holiday mock. It has my favorite clichĂ©s in it: working undercover (sorry, no baby in this one, yet)!

Stats: Title: Undercover Author:LuckyLaugher Summary: A serial killer is in Ohio and Kate Beckett has to catch the bastard before he killed someone. Rating: K

Once again, weird formating warning: I didn’t format this fic, this was all the authors work.

This is my first crossover, hope you like it

And hopefully last. What the hell are we even crossing this fic over with?

Chapter one: To Ohio

I dread going to Ohio, I really really do.

Kate Beckett sat behind her desk. It was a normal day, without a case. Castle went home to work

on his book. Ryan and Esposito were having lunch, when the captain called her in to his office.

I think we’ve had this conversation before, please stop talking to me like I’m 2. Unless you are attempting to write the newest Olivia book, then stop talking down to me! Die.

“Beckett,” The captain said.

“Yes, sir.”

“In my office” She walked into his office.

Wow, do you also jump when the Captain says jump?

“What’s wrong, sir?”

“Sit down” She sat down and he continued.

Did Castle die? Or maybe it was Alexis. Read the rest of this entry

Happy Labor Day Weekend

The seal of the United States Department of Labor.

Image via Wikipedia

Sorry folks, but is taking the long four day Labor Day weekend off. But fear not folks, the boys Mockers will be back on Tuesday with new mocks! Meanwhile, need something to do during this long weekend? Try mocking a fic and sending it to:

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