Category Archives: iiLoveeYoouuCastlee

Mock the Fic: Whoa!

After the last two mocks of this authors works, its seems my readers can’t get enough of the badfics this person writes and wants more! By special request from MysteryCastleFanFic 3000. You ask and you shall receive. This one is another Pedobear Approved and Lemon Seal fic.

Stats: Title: Whoa! Author: iiLoveeYoouuCastlee Summary: After my thirty-two continuous phone calls to Katherine Beckett, I decided to go over to her apartment. Richard Castles P.O.V. Lemon-dont like them, dont read this! Casketty goodness! OOC slightly. One-Shot unless fans request sequel!  Rating: M

“Kate?” I called into her apartment, unlocking the door with the key I found under the mat.

Really? Our HBIC hides her key under her mat? That’s just asking for someone like Castle to break in. She should at least have a hide a key rock for her apartment. Nothing looks less conspicuous than a key under the mat than a hide a key rock.

I didn’t think she was home because she didn’t answer the door, or the thirty-two calls I gave to her mobile.


I was truly worried about her, and my heart felt like it had fallen off the top of the Eiffel Tower.

You know, we keep telling you

I walked through her apartment, taking in all the features. The apartment’s main colours were red and white, and it was nicely furnished. Glossed tables and chairs adorned the main room, and a spotless television was up against the wall.

I would hope it would be a spotless television because I would hate to pay god money for a tv with spots all over it.

Kate’s apartment didn’t have any particular style; but I loved it.

Okay Mr. Castile, you need to learn to never tell that to a woman. Otherwise, you won’t get any sex for a long time.

I pattered lightly past the bathroom, and my heart sank further, if at all possible, at the sound.

Quick Castle, grab the air freshener.

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Mock the Fic: Waited Too Long

When I saw that the author of the last really bad sex fic had another smut fic out, I just couldn’t pass it up. This one isn’t as bad as the previous ones, but its still up there. We here at Bad Castle Fic like to think we are doing the world a justice by teaching bad authors that if they have never had sex, then they shouldn’t write about it.

Stats: Title:Waited Too Long Author:iiLoveeYoouuCastlee Summary: Smut/lemon/ whatever you want to call it. Dedicated to my friend thecastlefan. OOC.  Rating: M

Also I think Pedobear came out of the woodworks when he saw this fic coming out by a person who was under the age of 15, and is writing smut. Therefore this fic gets the Pedobear Seal of Approval! It also gets our new Lemon Seal!


ust another Castle fanfiction. Basically smut, for my friend thecastlefan.

I sure hope that ust is supposed to be “just” and not unresolved sexual tension, because if this is a smut fic, then its no longer unresolved. Its resolved! And I feel sorry for you friend.

I havent really had too much experience at writing these, and its really OOC. Anyway, please review!

Oh frak. Just admit it, you’ve never had sex, and you are doing a self insert as Becks in this fic, aren’t you?

Being alon at the precinct was always just a little unnerving. The eerie sound of silence; the sound of lifelessness, really  weighed down the atmosphere.

It’s a police precinct. Its open 24 hours, I’m sure there is always something going on inside that place. Crime stops for no one, and no time.

I usually stayed this late because I hated going home to an empty apartment. I had broken up with Will, and couldn’t work up the courage to ask out Castle.


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Guest Mock the Fic: Date Central

I hope someday the author, who is bound to be a repeat offender, will be up for Miss America or something else as glamorous for someone with a brain like theirs, and they get disqualified because of writing such a horrible smut fic after the New York Times publishes it for all the world to mock. Someday, folks. Someday. In the meantime, let this fic be another shining example of my staunch position that if you aren’t old enough to talk to your mom and tell her you had sex, let alone old enough to have sex, then you shouldn’t be writing smut. End of story. Luckily, I’m not the one who had to suffer to mock this, this one goes to our newest mocker: FicSlayerMcG.

Stats: Title: Date Central! Author: iiLoveeYoouuCastlee Summary: Richard Castle goes on a dating show, trying to forget his feelings about Kate…But she is a contestant! Feelings unravel, and he chooses her for the date. Caskett one-shot! Might do a sequel later! Lemons-dont like, dont read! Rating: M

Puke bags: As many as you can handle for the sex scene later.

Sporks to the eyes:  More than you can scrounge up from public school cafeterias in the United States.

I had the misfortune of clicking on this fic.  Mocking it made me feel better.

Another Castle fanfic!

As usual, I dont own Castle or any of the characters!

(After reading note:  Thank GOD you don’t.  Kate would be getting pregnant as fast as Michelle Duggar.)

“Richard Castle, you have been on two dates, and you sent both of the ladies away. Now, our last contestant is a wonderful detective. She loves your books, is a hopeless romantic, and loves to sleep or spend time with friends in her spare time. Please welcome Katherine Beckett!”

What the FRAK?

The crowd broke out in applause as Castle stood there, feet glued to the floor, and his jaw on his way to them. Kate? Of all people to go on a dating show, Kate?

You and me both, Castle.

Katherine Beckett walked out in a lipstick red dress that ended just above her knees, and red stilettos. Her hair was curled slightly, and a red ribbon teased the edge of her right wrist. She saw Castle and couldn’t help but smile at the reaction plastered on his face. His mouth descended even lower upon seeing her in such a short dress.

So, is calling her ‘Katherine’ like making up her very own stripper name?  No one calls her Katherine in fanfiction anymore unless they have her dressed up like a slut.

“Now, we are going to leave you two in the date bus for an hour, and see how it goes!” the presenter said as Kate went over and closed Ricks jaw for him.

Castle meets MTV.  Next!

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