Category Archives: NinjaaGurl

Mock the Fic: Runnaway Dream part 3


Sadly I wish it was over. This is the fic that just won’t end. Turns out what I thought would be a two piece is now a three piece.  To recap, its a lovely little story written by a 14 year old writer who pulls the biggest Mary Sue of all time and inserts herself into the story. Full of cliches and lol’s.  How could we not mock a story that starts out with a 14 year old becoming a detective? Oh and she has Beck’s gun because Becks is a wimp.

Stats: Title:Runaway Dream Author: NinjaaGurl Summary: this started because of a dream i had.the main point is what would happen if a 14 year old was a homicide detective (BCF: 14 year old homicide detective? WTF?) Rating: T

Puke Bags: 4

Sporks to the eyes: 4

BPOV

Someone remind me once again who BPOV is? Oh thats Becks. God this is horrible.

It was a quiet ride to the home of Felicity Morgan, Castle and I both to wrapped up in our own thoughts to even talk.

Who is Felicity? Oh that’s right, the 3rd Mary Sue of this story. I feel a puke bag needed.

In what felt like a long drive was actually pretty short. We pulled up in front of a beautiful townhouse and got out the car.

Of course she has a beautiful townhouse. Because she’s a Mary Sue.

“Nice place for a college student.” Castle said looking up at the house.

Wait? She’s a college student? Is this your future Mary Sue self?

“Yeah. It kind of reminds me of my first apartment.” I replied.

Really Becks? Really? I thought it was over a chicken place and smelled horribly?

We started walking up the driveway as we got closer we heard something that sounded like a piano being played.

Really? I feel like throwing sporks at you right now for your perfect Mary Sue.

I knocked on the door expecting to hear the music stop when it didn’t I knocked again. This time the door opened revealing a young woman with red hair and painters overalls.

Freddy Krueger’s little sister?

“Can I help you?”She asked.

“Hello. I’m Detective Kate Beckett. NYPD. This is Richard Castle. Can we ask you some questions?”

Shouldn’t you ask who she is instead of questions? Oh wait, that’s something a 14 year old wouldn’t know. Watch more Law and Order please.

“Sure, sure.” She said opening the door wider and ushering us inside. As we walked in I glanced around.

The room was painted a pale cream color that was accented with black furniture. It was simple but still had a sense of class. On her walls were pictures of what I assumed would be her family and friends and a few pieces of art…

Blah blah blah.

“This is a nice place.”Castle said impressed.

“Why thank you Mr. Castle.” she replied with a smile. “Can I get ya’ll something to drink”

You are boring me.

“No thank you.” I said. “Miss Morgan…”

“Please call me Felicity”

“Ok, Felicity.”

“Wait, before we start can I ask if this is about Michelle?”

Wow a psychic Mary Sue! How unique.

“Y-yes. It is about her. We were wondering if you could possibly help us find her.”

Since when did Becks stutter? Is this the retard rocket still?

Felicity smiled brightly.

“Do you hear that music?”

Phantom music? Wow this psychic Mary Sue has the coolest house. Is it the Haunted Mansion?

I started to hear the same piano music that we heard when we first came. That’s when I noticed somebody else must be here.

Dun dun dun duuuunnnn…

“Yes I do. What about it?” I asked puzzled.

Really?

“That, detective, would be the girl you’re looking for. She came here earlier. She was hungry, cold, and tired. She knew to come here because I told her to if she ever needs help.”

Congrats Mary Sue! You’re harboring a fugitive. Please enjoy the slammer. I hear they have lovely roommates.

“Can we talk to her?”

Please don’t. Can we just call someone else to come and get her?

“Sure follow me.”

Its a trap! Don’t do it!

She turned around and walked down some stairs. As we got closer we heard a strong voice singing.

Oh mighty puke bag! I need you now!

“Wow is that her? She’s really good.” Castle said mirroring my thoughts.

“Yeah I know.” Felicity replied. “Shhh, if we go in quietly we might hear her finish the song.”

Oh no, please don’t. Someone call Freddy Krueger and take me out of my misery.

We walked in the room as Michelle was singing.

I’m going to regret this aren’t I?

Do you think I’m special?
Do you think I’m nice?
Am I bright enough to shine in your spaces?
Between the noise you hear
And the sound you like
Are we just sinking in an ocean of faces?

It can be possible that rain can fall,
only when it’s over our heads
the sun is shining every day, but it’s far away
over the world is death.

They got,
They got,
All the right friends in all the wrong places
So yeah, we’re going down
They got, all the right moves and all the wrong faces
So yeah, we’re going down

Thank-you for ruining a great song. OneRepublic hates you and wishes you a long painful Mary Sue death.

“Wow. That was amazing.” A voice called from behind me. I turned around to see Felicity, detective Beckett, and Mr. Castle standing by the door.

I really need a puke bag. Stat! I’m out.

“Umm thank you Mr. Castle.” I said suddenly nervous. I have always had a bad case of stage fright. Even if it is the smallest of crowds I get scared. I couldn’t help but wonder how long they were standing there.

Too bad it wasn’t Freddy Krueger. He’d have you dead and dismantled by now.

“How much did you hear?” I asked.

Enough to make my ears bleed.

“Just long enough to hear the end of your song.” Felicity said with her crooked grin.

“Oh…”

No way, we heard way too much.

I stood up and walked over to my bag in the middle of the room. I grabbed the gun and gave it to Kate.

And that’s when you would normally be arrested and hauled off.

“Here, I’m sorry that I took it. My emotions were running high and I just made a snap decision.”I said staring at the floor. I felt a hand under my chin force me to look into her eyes.

Okay it doesn’t have to be a puke bag, it can be a Walmart bag.

“I understand. That’s why you’re not in any kind of trouble we just need you to come back to the station so we can catch your aunt’s murderer.”

And what would she have to do with catching the murderer since she was at home asleep like a lightweight.

“Really?”

“Yes really.” she said with a small smile.

Okay I’ll even take the toilet.

“Thank you, thank you!” I said hugging her. “Wait I think you should know something that might help find my aunt’s killer.”

That you killed her, right?

“Ok what?”

“I think I did it.” I said. I looked at all the faces in the room and saw one common thing. Shock.

How did I ever know.

Please tell me we will never see the rest of this fic. EVER.

@MichyEYET
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Mock the Fic: Runaway Dream part 2


This is part two of a two piece that just screams, mock me! Please mock me! To recap, its a lovely little story written by a 14 year old writer who pulls the biggest Mary Sue of all time and inserts herself into the story. Full of cliches and lol’s.  How could we not mock a story that starts out with a 14 year old becoming a detective?

Stats: Title:Runaway Dream Author: NinjaaGurl Summary: this started because of a dream i had.the main point is what would happen if a 14 year old was a homicide detective (BCF: 14 year old homicide detective? WTF?) Rating: T

Puke Bags: 1

Sporks to the eyes: 4

MPOV

Please tell me this time its Montgomery’s pov. PLEASE!

I’ve been on the run for 3 whole days.

Damn, it’s not.

I’m cold and tired, and don’t even get me started on the rain. I swear, God must be pissed at me because it hasn’t stopped raining since I left.

I can assure you, yes, God is mad at you because you wrote a Mary Sue fic. God will smite thee for Mary Sue fics! Its part of the whole Ark of the Covenant thing.

I tried going home but the police were waiting to ambush me.

Really?

Damn Kate it’s like she knows my every move.

Kittens are dying with the lack of comma use. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Runaway Dream part 1


This is a piece that just screams, mock me! Please mock me! Its written by a 14 year old writer who pulls the biggest Mary Sue of all time and inserts herself into the story. How could we not mock a story that starts out with a 14 year old becoming a detective?

Stats: Title:Runaway Dream Author: NinjaaGurl Summary: this started because of a dream i had.the main point is what would happen if a 14 year old was a homicide detective (BCF: 14 year old homicide detective? WTF?) Rating: T

Prologue

The name’s Harris. Michelle Harris (A/N yes that is my real name.)

Congratulations Michelle Harris, you just because America’s newest Mary Sue Princess! And might I say, very Mary Sue of you to name the character after yourself.


I am the youngest homicide detective in history. I am only 14 years old and by some fascinating connection to the mayor (anonymous I might add) I am a true cop, gun and badge included.

Right. This must be in Down Town, NY too, right? Do I even need to mention how wrong and stupid it is to think of a 14 year old as a homicide detective? Did you just use your gym class grade to get you out of the academy? And did your

You may be wondering how this came to be so I’m going to tell you. My story starts New Years Eve, one year ago.

Of course it does.

Chapter One: Unhappy New Year. Read the rest of this entry

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