Category Archives: Pedobear

Mock the Fic: Castle’s new Daughter


Just remember when you read this fic, Pedobear is watching you. Don’t worry, he doesn’t judge. I love how someone commented on everything I ranted about in their review of this fic. It’s horrible. The spelling is bad, research is nonexistent, and why isn’t Detective Beckett arresting the boyfriend teacher? At least this author could read the plea I wrote to all fanfic writers when it comes to writing a story that doesn’t take place in their native country.

Stats: Title: Castle’s New Daughter Author:Spikes_number_1_pet Summary: When Emily Cole a 14 year old girl’s parents are murdered. Castle remembers that Emily’s parents were old friends, he does everything he can to help her. So he adopts her, gives her a home and a family. But will he chatch the killers. Rating: T

The calm before the storm.

It’s been calm for way too long.

I don’t own castle. I own Emily and Adam.
The song that helped me write this Always. By bon jovi.

They should sue.

Chapter 2 one month later

Wow that month went by so quickly.

Diary entries from Emily.

Goodie.

Dear Diary,

Today was a craptacular day. My parents are dead, a random book writer adopted me, and my teacher is having sex with me.

I woke up screaming again tonight and once again Alexis comforted me,

I’m surprised she didn’t try to quiet you with a pillow shoved against your mouth.

I love Alexis, she’s really nice.

So you love her because she’s nice? Really? My coworker is nice but it doesn’t mean I love him. Wow if I loved everyone who was nice than love would have no meaning. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Castle’s new daughter


If you get a creepy feeling while reading this fic, fear not, it’s just Pedobear groping you as you read it. Haven’t done two mocks in one day, but this felt like something that need to be done since the last one was a bit on the small side. This fic was passed to me via twitter and is full of Mary Sue goodness. Oh and this author has the longest profile ever and likes to mix British education with American society.

Stats: Title: Castle’s New Daughter Author:Spikes_number_1_pet Summary: When Emily Cole a 14 year old girl’s parents are murdered. Castle remembers that Emily’s parents were old friends, he does everything he can to help her. So he adopts her, gives her a home and a family. But will he chatch the killers. Rating: T

The calm before the storm.

I don’t own castle. I own Emily and Adam.

Oh lucky for us that you don’t own Castle.

The song that helped me write this No apologies. By bon jovi.

Poor Bon Jovi.

Chapter one.

Oh how can I contain my excitement?

My name is Emily, Emily Cole.

I bet $5 that this is ether the name of the author, name of the authors bff, or a combo of the authors name and the guy she likes last name.

I’m fifteen but I’m living a nightmere of a life.

What is a nightmere of a life? Was it a night by itself?

I’m sitting my GCSE’s in the next couple of months.

The what? Okay not going to lie, I had to Google it. That’s nice that you are finally graduating from secondary education in England, but this is America. We have something here called High School and you don’t generally have to take special tests to graduate high school.

I live in a care home as both my parents were murdered.

Is that like a nursing home for annoying kids?

The only person that’s any help is Rick Castle, oh and Kate Beckett. Kate’s from NYPD.

Oh do tell how they are so much help being as to they are Yanks in America and you are in Jolly Old England. Is it so hard for authors of other countries to do research? I know this author is 14, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a computer to google their research.

Rick’s a old family friend and a writer.

A family friend for a family that doesn’t live anymore.

For his new books, he’s getting insperataion from Kate.

That’s an ‘E for Effort!’ for sounding out how to spell inspiration. Read the rest of this entry

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