Category Archives: 2

Mock the Fic: Waited Too Long

When I saw that the author of the last really bad sex fic had another smut fic out, I just couldn’t pass it up. This one isn’t as bad as the previous ones, but its still up there. We here at Bad Castle Fic like to think we are doing the world a justice by teaching bad authors that if they have never had sex, then they shouldn’t write about it.

Stats: Title:Waited Too Long Author:iiLoveeYoouuCastlee Summary: Smut/lemon/ whatever you want to call it. Dedicated to my friend thecastlefan. OOC.  Rating: M

Also I think Pedobear came out of the woodworks when he saw this fic coming out by a person who was under the age of 15, and is writing smut. Therefore this fic gets the Pedobear Seal of Approval! It also gets our new Lemon Seal!


ust another Castle fanfiction. Basically smut, for my friend thecastlefan.

I sure hope that ust is supposed to be “just” and not unresolved sexual tension, because if this is a smut fic, then its no longer unresolved. Its resolved! And I feel sorry for you friend.

I havent really had too much experience at writing these, and its really OOC. Anyway, please review!

Oh frak. Just admit it, you’ve never had sex, and you are doing a self insert as Becks in this fic, aren’t you?

Being alon at the precinct was always just a little unnerving. The eerie sound of silence; the sound of lifelessness, really  weighed down the atmosphere.

It’s a police precinct. Its open 24 hours, I’m sure there is always something going on inside that place. Crime stops for no one, and no time.

I usually stayed this late because I hated going home to an empty apartment. I had broken up with Will, and couldn’t work up the courage to ask out Castle.


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Mock the Fic: Facing The Future

We all know how I feel about all the season 2 finale fics that are running around, but I also feel the same way about pregnancy fics. Sure I understand things happen, but really? With all the amount of Beckett getting knocked up fics, I think its time to start mocking them. So break out your Yaz pills, it’s time for some birth control!

Stats: Title: Facing The Future Author: Klutzygirl33 Summary: Kate freaks out when her pregnancy test is positive. Castle/Beckett Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don’t own Castle and never will. No copyright infringement intended.

Author’s Note: I haven’t found any fics where Beckett and Castle have kids of their own, so I decided to write a fic where they do! I hope you enjoy!

Kate Beckett stared at the positive pregnancy test in her hands in shock.

Oh noes! How did this happen. All we did was have sex.

She and Castle were going to have a baby? But they hadn’t even talked about kids!

Well it’s too late now. I hope he isn’t like the Abusive Demming and beat the crap out of you.

Kate loved Alexis like she was her own, but she hadn’t thought about having a baby. Wow, this baby was part her and part Castle!

And congratulations! You know get to start saving up for college since I’m sure Castle will spend all his money away on some toy of the year.

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Mock the Fic: First Kiss

This one is bad and sappy. BAD! It has continuity problems, and kissing. So everyone get your puke bags ready for this one. It takes place after Tick Tick Tick and Boom.

Stats: First Kiss Author: Nev827 Summary: My version of how Castle & Beckett’s first kiss will happen. Rating: K+

Puke Bags: 2

Sporks: 2

Castle walked Beckett to the front door of his spacious apartment.

Have you seen how much crap he has in that apartment? I would hardly call it spacious.

While he wanted to be a gentleman, he couldn’t help but notice how radiant she looked, despite what she’d been through the last few days and despite the fact that they had stayed up well past midnight talking.

I’m sure that’s not the first time she’s stayed up past midnight. She is HBIC.

He wanted to spend more time with her, make extra sure she was okay, but he also didn’t want to add to her emotional burden.

Yes because we all know how much of an emotional burden Castle can be.

They both stood by the front door, briefly not knowing what to say to each other. Thankfully, Beckett finally broke the ice.

That’s because she’s HBIC.

“Thank you for last night, Castle. It was –,” her voice seemed to catch in her throat and, for a moment, Castle thought he saw her eyes begin to tear up. But she fought it back.

She’s crying? That is not HBIC like. Who is this impostor and what has she done with our HBIC?

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Mock the Fic: Tell Me Why You Left That Night

Oh Song fics, such a tool of the 90’s. And look, someone  is writing another one, and it begs to be mocked. I just couldn’t resist.

Stats: Tell Me Why You Left That Night Author: WriterHorse32 Summary: Castle is gone. Kate works at a club on Fridays. What will happen when she asks the simple question. Why did you leave that night? Rating: K+

Sporks to your eyes: 3

Puke Bags: 2

Kate was at the club she worked at on Fridays.

Since when has she worked at a club? Isn’t that a conflict of interest for her cop job?

She knew Espositio and Ryan wouldn’t like it and the captain would kill her,

Really? Really?

but ever since Castle left the night after his 2 ex-wives murders were solved that she didn’t care what they thought.

Wait, what? Castle’s wives were murdered? What?

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Mock a Fic: Annoying needs a cure

This story has a bit of a history to it. This is the first story by the author castlebeckett4eva and boy did I ever wish I hadn’t. It should have been a warning when I saw that the tile had no capitalization. Normally I wouldn’t touch any stories from this author, but for you I will.

Lets get the stats: Title: annoying needs a cure Author:castlebeckett4eva Summary: Castle is annoying kate (BCF: AHH CAPITALIZE THE NAME!) so she turns up to work in a short dress and high heels and teases him, so hopefully he wouldn’t annoy her any more. But he turns up to her apartment that night. What will he do?  Rating: T

Puke Bags Needed: 2

Sporks to the eye: 2

Chapter 1

“Beckett your suck a fun killer” he said sulkily,

Suck a fun killer? Is that some new sex act? And do you do it sulkily too? Wow, I feel out of date with my sex acts.

after pulling a wise ass joke and she ignored him. She was trying to pack up so she could go home.

Don’t forget to pack up Castle while you are at it.

“Yer well, you should be grateful I’m not all over you like the rest of the chicks in the world are,

Wow, when did Kate Beckett turn into a hillbilly? Is this what it’s like living in Down Town, NY? Or is it Down Town, Arkansas? Is that where you can suck a fun killer? Really? I need to know, I am taking notes.

and that I don’t wear short little exposing dresses and high heels.” he smirked at her and she rolled her eyes.

No Daisy Dukes for Hillbilly Becks? She’s no fun.

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind it one bit.” Read the rest of this entry

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