Category Archives: 3

Mock the Fic: Whoa!

After the last two mocks of this authors works, its seems my readers can’t get enough of the badfics this person writes and wants more! By special request from MysteryCastleFanFic 3000. You ask and you shall receive. This one is another Pedobear Approved and Lemon Seal fic.

Stats: Title: Whoa! Author: iiLoveeYoouuCastlee Summary: After my thirty-two continuous phone calls to Katherine Beckett, I decided to go over to her apartment. Richard Castles P.O.V. Lemon-dont like them, dont read this! Casketty goodness! OOC slightly. One-Shot unless fans request sequel!  Rating: M

“Kate?” I called into her apartment, unlocking the door with the key I found under the mat.

Really? Our HBIC hides her key under her mat? That’s just asking for someone like Castle to break in. She should at least have a hide a key rock for her apartment. Nothing looks less conspicuous than a key under the mat than a hide a key rock.

I didn’t think she was home because she didn’t answer the door, or the thirty-two calls I gave to her mobile.


I was truly worried about her, and my heart felt like it had fallen off the top of the Eiffel Tower.

You know, we keep telling you

I walked through her apartment, taking in all the features. The apartment’s main colours were red and white, and it was nicely furnished. Glossed tables and chairs adorned the main room, and a spotless television was up against the wall.

I would hope it would be a spotless television because I would hate to pay god money for a tv with spots all over it.

Kate’s apartment didn’t have any particular style; but I loved it.

Okay Mr. Castile, you need to learn to never tell that to a woman. Otherwise, you won’t get any sex for a long time.

I pattered lightly past the bathroom, and my heart sank further, if at all possible, at the sound.

Quick Castle, grab the air freshener.

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Mock the Fic: Alternate Ending

So we all know the finale was yesterday, and already the bad post finale fics are popping up EVERYWHERE. I’ve lost track of how many fic’s I’ve seen that are their own version of the ending. Here is the first of what’s soon to be many post Season 2 finale fics. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, then don’t read the mock. I will be nice and cut the fic so that it doesn’t spoil anyone! See I do have a heart!

Stats:Alternate Ending Title:  Author: Castle Lover Forty-five Summary: This is my own alternate ending to “A Deadly Game.” Obviously, there are spoilers for that episode. Rating: K+

A/N: So, seeing all the post-finale fics popping up everywhere I just had to jump on that band wagon!

So if all your friends jumped off the cliff you would too, right? Okay whose the ring leader of your friends, I have a proposition for them.

And since “Ridiculous” is my middle name…well…you’ll see!

Your parents sucked when it came to naming you. I’d sue.

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Mock the Fic: Consequences part 1

YAY BadFic is back with an even more horrifying fic. Its bad, trust me. BAD. This one employees my theory that if you aren’t old enough to have sex, or at least tell your mom you had sex, then you shouldn’t write about sex.

Stats: Title: Consequences Author: Beckett’sHEART Summary: some one finds the video of castle and beckett playing truth or dare Rating: M

Puke Bags: 3

Sporks to the eyes: 4

Chapter One:

i walked in to the precinct half asleep. i didnt get much rest last night due to the fact that i couldnt get last nights scenes out of my dreams.

Uh… okay.

(BCF: I am killing cute small puppies every time you forget to capitalize a letter.)

in my dreams there was more than just touching.

And we’re off!

(BCF: Can we please leave those thoughts in your dreams, please?)

“come on kate let my lick that chocolate from your breast…… or you could lick me if you want.”

Castle grabs the chocolate bottle and pours it down his pants…..

And now we’ve reached the “WTF” portion of the story. Isn’t it every girl’s fantasy to have a dude pour a bottle of chocolate down his pants?

Now, the important questions: was it Godiva? Maybe something with a little liquor to keep things spicy? Please tell me he sprang for something better than that Hershey’s shit.

(BCF: I’m sure Castle had to go to the Bodega to get the stuff, so it’s probably some off brand Mexican chocolate syrup.)

whoa that was a very scary and arousing dream. i wonder what the real castle would have done…

Arousing? There are quite a few words that come to mind but arousing isn’t one of them. Let’s hope the real Castle wouldn’t dump a bottle of syrup down his pants but then again, Kate does like them freaky. (BCF: I thought it was Castle who liked to have sex with crazy women, not Kate.)

oh wait i do know.

I’m not getting the idea that you know much of anything.

(BCF: I hear the retard rocket calling.)

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Mock the Fic: Runaway Dream part 1

This is a piece that just screams, mock me! Please mock me! Its written by a 14 year old writer who pulls the biggest Mary Sue of all time and inserts herself into the story. How could we not mock a story that starts out with a 14 year old becoming a detective?

Stats: Title:Runaway Dream Author: NinjaaGurl Summary: this started because of a dream i had.the main point is what would happen if a 14 year old was a homicide detective (BCF: 14 year old homicide detective? WTF?) Rating: T


The name’s Harris. Michelle Harris (A/N yes that is my real name.)

Congratulations Michelle Harris, you just because America’s newest Mary Sue Princess! And might I say, very Mary Sue of you to name the character after yourself.

I am the youngest homicide detective in history. I am only 14 years old and by some fascinating connection to the mayor (anonymous I might add) I am a true cop, gun and badge included.

Right. This must be in Down Town, NY too, right? Do I even need to mention how wrong and stupid it is to think of a 14 year old as a homicide detective? Did you just use your gym class grade to get you out of the academy? And did your

You may be wondering how this came to be so I’m going to tell you. My story starts New Years Eve, one year ago.

Of course it does.

Chapter One: Unhappy New Year. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: In the Mood

I’m not going to lie. This next mock is filled with all kinds of potty humor. What can I say? I just couldn’t resist. It’s also by a repeat offender too, who is now killing baby seals with their stories. Let’s go with the stats: Title: In the Mood
Author: castlebeckett4eva
Summary: Beckett decides to give Castle a taste of his own medicine, so she teases him by leading him on. But then he turns it around and she is stuck. What will happen? One Shot. Rated T just to be safe. Rating: T

Sporks to the eyes: 2

Puke bags needed: 3

Detective Kate Beckett was in a mood.

Oh what mood could she be in? Cranky, constipated, quixotic, tense, violent, guilty, suspicious…

It wasn’t an angry mood or an annoyed mood. She couldn’t describe it.

Constipated it is then.

She was sure she hadn’t felt this way before.

Oh I’m sure she has, she just needs to eat more bran.

So she didn’t know what to do.

I’m sure any bodega has some laxative she could take. It’s not that hard…

That was until Castle walked into the precinct.

Oh no! This can’t be good.

Then she knew exactly what she wanted to do.

Have him go to the bodega for some laxative? Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: He’ll Never Know

Look everyone! We have BadFic back again wanting to guest mock another story. I hope after the last mock they did that it didn’t cause them to have to now use the  Retard Rocket. So if you have a goat or tree fetish, and like fine wines out of a box, then continue to go and collect $200 from the author of our next story.

Lets take a look at the stats for this story: Title: He’ll never know Author:granola girl 1115 Summary:
Summary: She loves him, he doesn’t know. Now Castles been shot and Kate is scared he’ll never know how she feels. Hours she waits to see if he’ll live,hours she dreams of what thier life could be togather. Will Kate get the chance to turn those dreams into life? (BF: Dreams are much like rainbows: only idiots chase them.) Rating: T

BCF Note: This story is so horrible, I can’t help but jump in and co-mock it with Badfic.

Puke Bags Needed: 3

Sporks to your eyes: 2

“Castle, stay in the car.” I demanded from the my “shadow”.

I don’t know what a ‘the my “shadow”’ is. Is this a rap song I missed while kickin’ in with my ATL Housewives peeps?

For about two years now, author Richard Castle has been following me on a writing job.

No shit! Really? (BCF: Wow, I haven’t been watching Castle, I just thought I would randomly read a story from the show and now I know whats going on. Thanks!)

He wants to see what it’s like to be a real detective.

He could have just watched a few episodes of COPS. (BCF: He could also try Law and Order so that way he gets both the cops and lawyers point of view. Its a two for one special!) Read the rest of this entry

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