Category Archives: Shortie

Mock the Fic: The Writer’s Alphabet: Letter A


I would personally like to thank the Bad Castle Fic reader who recommended this story to me. It’s another clichéd alphabet series of short stories. Why can’t we have something new when it comes to short story series? I know, I challenge authors to write bad Castle stories based on a random name in the alphabet on page 250, line 25 of the phonebook.

Stats: Title:The Writer’s Alphabet Author: CKLizzy Summary:Twenty-six short little glimpses into the life of Kate Beckett and Richard Castle – past, present and future. – One shot / Drabble series, each story based on one letter of the alphabet Rating: T

Rating: various, but nothing higher than P16 (… I hope…)

I’m guessing if its P16 then our author must be 16. And what does P16? Parents who are 16 can read it?

Summary: Twenty-six short little glimpses into the life of Kate Beckett and Richard Castle – past, present and future.

Oh goodie, another fic idea that has never been done before. The good news folks is that we have 26 short fics that I will get to mock! I think this deserves a party!

Disclaimer: What was it?

What was what?

Oh, yeah, right. Andrew Marlowe, I love you! …

Too bad he’s married to Terri Miller. I’m sure she just loves it when fangirls throw themselves all over her husband.

No… wrong text… um… Castle doesn’t belong to me (though I wouldn’t mind havin Nathan Fillion for myself…).

And I’m sure Nathan’s girlfriend would just love that too. And it’s having, not havin. Havin isn’t a word, nor will it ever be.

It’s Andrew W. Marlowe’s, ABC’s and who else might be participated in producing the show. I’m just fooling around a bit 😉

I sure hope they get smart and catch on that you are fooling around with their characters and take them away from you before you impregnate one of the characters.

A/N: In case it doesn’t become clear – this is a one shot series, and every story will be based on a letter.

Wow, I would have been lost without that explanation. I’m so glad you cleared that up for me.

A for: Alone

As in leave the characters of Castle alone.

She had never felt that alone in her whole life. It was so terrible.

If this she is Beckett, then doesn’t she live alone?

Left, lonely, lost.

Your attempt at alliteration is a complete failure, not to mention that you sentence needs an “and” between the lonely and lost. I guess you must have ran out of crayons when you were writing this story and couldn’t add the “and” into the sentence.

Hugging her legs she had pulled up to her body, she sniffed.

This sentence makes no sense! Why was she pulling her legs up to her body, and why did you randomly put the “she sniffed” at the end. If
I was marking this with a red pen, I would have ran out of ink.

She didn’t want to be alone. The room was too big, even the couch was too huge to sit there alone. She felt cold and abandoned.

“Hey, darling,” a voice suddenly startled her, and she heard the concern in the voice, “what’s up? Why are you crying?”

Oh goodie, now we get a run on sentence. And I’m guessing that means we have Dolly Parton in the fic since she’s the only person I’ve ever known that calls people “darling.”

He sat down next to her and hugged her, and she immediately relaxed into his arms, releasing a sigh.

Oh I see Dolly got a sex change and is now Billy Ray Cyrus.

“I feel so alone,” she whined.

She whined? Really? Who is this character and how can I punch them in the stomach. No character on Castle would ever act this way. Not even Alexis.

“Why? I’m here, Kate,” he said gently and kissed her forehead.

Dear Author, please die for making Kate a Mary Sue.Sincerely, BCF.

“I know, but when you were gone…”

Someone please get her a Kleenex with chloroform so we can shut the weeping willow up.

“Darling, I was only gone for five minutes. To make you a tea. Remember?”

So she’s crying because he left the room to make tea? Really? Talk about an emotionally distressed Bitch. Now I am starting to think the author must be 14 years old since that’s the only age I can ever imagine a girl be this emotional and clingy.

“But I felt alone anyways, Rick!”

Wah-wah. Emo-Kate can’t take the world. I know, let’s get Emo-Kate a razor blade so she can cut on her arms, and some Kool-Aid so she can dye her hair red.

“My love, you’ll never be alone. I’m here with you. What brought that thought even on?”

Probably because you took her razor blades away again?

“I don’t know,” she grumbled, “can’t we just accept that pregnant women are overly and irrationally emotional?”

Really? Really? Please die a painful death for your irrationally stupid stereotypes.

FIN

Thank-God. Now where is my blade so I can kill myself?

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Mock the Fic: The Chick and the Surfer part 4


Wow this is a fic that we haven’t seen in a while! I was surprised to see it pop up on the fanfic radar. I figured it was a DOA fic. I guess it still has a little bit of life left in it. And look! La Quinta Inn is getting more free advertisement on my blog! I demand my complimentary breakfast buffet at Dennys.

Stats: Title: The Chick and The Surfer Author: AriesOx17 Summary: The blue-eyed surfer meets the amber eyed chick. Rating: T

Next morning the sun rays shone through the shades waking Kate up first.

Oooh whose bed is she waking up in?

Last night had been steamy, beyond anything Kate would have imagined.

I’m guessing we aren’t at the La Quinta in right now.

Whilst

Why the frak do authors use “whilst?” What’s wrong with the word while?

watching Rick, she thought last night was incredible. His muscular arms are so dreamy and the way he moved his hands…wow! Who knew he was talented in so many ways?

I hope you wore protection because if he’s talented in so many ways then that might mean he’s also diseased in so many ways too.

She continued to watch him sleep. However, it wasn’t long before Rick awoke.

I have creepy stalker visions of her watching him sleep.

“Good morning sugar.”

Yes, we just met and had sex and now you want to call me sugar. Sure! Why not, Honey Bunny!

“Good morning to you too handsome.”

I feel like puking.

“Last night was…” began Kate but Rick finished the sentence.

“…Incredible.”

Puke bag please!

The two of them lay there in bed, Rick contentedly holding Kate in his arms.

-x-

Over the next several days, it seems the two of them became even closer since consummating their relationship.

Wow I feel sorry for the La Quinta maids who have to clean the bed after those two.

She would visit him when he was at work and they would spend as much time together as possible and getting to know each other.

Technically does he even work?

If they weren’t able to meet up then, he would tell her the best places for her and her friends to visit; however, nothing came close to the San Francisco trip they took.

I’m sure her parents would so approve of her taking along the guy she just slept to San Francisco on the trip they are paying for.

After having a fun filled three-week adventure in California, it was time for Kate, Lanie, and Madison to head back to New York.

So sad, too bad.

Two nights before they left, Kate (aside from packing) spent all of her remaining time with Rick.

Once again, poor maid staff.

The two of them were sitting quietly at his place, cuddling and enjoying each other’s presence.

Gag.

Then out of nowhere, Rick gathered up his courage to ask one of many important questions.

“Do you have any STD’s?”

“Kate, my love, please move in with me?”

Wow! That’s smart, let’s move in with the guy we just met! And to think I thought at least dating for more than a week was needed to move in with someone.

Kate lifted her head and looked at him unable to say anything.

“But I haven’t had the time to run a proper credit check on you…”

When she was able to say something she said, “I don’t know. This is kind of sudden.”

“Or a STD test.”

Rick nodded; he understood; this was a big step for the both of them.

Or he needed to get a refill on that penicillin test.

“I would have to move away from the life I know in New York, and away from my parents and…”

Rick placed his right index finger on Kate’s lips and he said, “Shh, okay how about you go back and pack enough stuff for a few months say six, if our relationship does not work then you can return to New York.”

Wow, since when did a few months become six?

Kate was bowled over.

Glad she’s not a bowling pin.

Here was the sweetest and most handsome guy giving her an offer she couldn’t bear to turn down.

It’s really easy, you say: “NO!” Or: “Why don’t you come stay with me?”

“Okay, I accept. I was wondering if you would like come with me to meet my parents?” asked Kate.

“Mom, Dad! This is the guy that gave me that STD!”

Mock the Fic: If it were this easy


Today’s mock is going to be officially the smallest mock ever! I have a feeling this opener is going to be longer than the fic. How sad is that? I’m not sure if I can even mock this properly because its so short. On second thought, yes I can. Sorry if you were expecting more of a longer mock today. Maybe this is a hint you should be working on your mock for my challenge (hint hint!).

Stats: Title:if it were this easy Author: kbeckett96 Summary: this story is very short and straight to the point Rating: K

“Castle”

I’m guessing we are short on characters we can use so we aren’t using punctuation?

“yes Beckett”

Well Thank-God capitals were free and we didn’t spare no expense when using those.

“kiss me already”

And everything I just said went out the window about the whole free capitalizing of letters.

and that was that

This is it? Just like that? I think I have twitter posts that have more substance than this fic. Was this a less than 100 words fic challenge? Or are you just too lazy and uncreative to write more?

its just what i wish would happen

Thank-God most people’s imagination and writing has more substance than yours. Even all the other badfic authors that I’ve mocked have more substance than this.

“Castle”

“yes Beckett”

“kiss me already”

and that was that

its just what i wish would happen

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