Category Archives: silkysexybitch

Mock the Fic: Undercover Chapter 8


I know everyone is going to be sad when I tell you that this is the last of Undercover (or at least until the author gives us more). What are we going to do without Katie snorting coke? Castle being all womanizing? How will my life continue to be lived?

Stats: Title: Undercover Author:silkysexybitch Summary: Beckett and Castle go undercover to bring down a drug kinpin. Beckett has to learn to pole dance, and Castle has to fight not to lose control. Chapter 5, 6 and 7 are up!

Katie followed Mr Smith upstairs towards the VIP area… she was nervous;

Please let it be Freddy Kruger waiting for her. Heck, I’d even take Jason.

if Castle had not asked for her soon enough this could get messy.

It would be hysterical if it was some pimp wanting to pimp her out to everyone.

She kept walking up the stair case trying to breathe comfortably in the corset that was pushing her breasts up so high they were screaming to be touched.

Jake Smith opened a curtain to the VIP area and that’s when she was walked right in front of Castle. She smirked a little; he looked fantastic in his black suit with a deep almost black purple shirt. She couldn’t help but think it was the colour that would be on satin bed sheets that were used for dirty sex.

Deep purple satin sheets used for dirty sex? HA HA HA That is too funny. I’m laughing because I know how slick satin sheets can be and I’m imagining them sliding off the bed.

“Richard Castle, meet Katie.” He smiled introducing them, looking into Katie’s eyes, letting her know it was her job to make him happy.

And for once, you really overused a comma. Try some periods.

“Hi Richard…” she smiled looking in his eyes while she accidently licked her lips.

All this lacks is a girly laugh.

“You can call me Rick, please take a seat in my booth I just need one moment with your boss” he smiled politely, watching her walk over to his booth. He watched her walk enjoying every moment of it, until Jake Smith interrupted his thoughts.

“Rick, what can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if you might have something I could get, maybe to enjoy the night a little more?” he asked nodding towards Katie.

Oh great, here comes the coke again. How about some Coke-a-Cola instead?

“Sure I’ll make sure you get something delivered to your table with your next round of drinks. What were you thinking?” he asked quietly

“Sure I’ll make sure ya git sumfin delivered ta yo’ table wiff yo’ next round o’ drinks. What wuz ya thinking all ye damn hood ratz?”

“I’d love 1g if you have it?” he asked referring to cocaine.

1g as in the 1st version of 3G phone service? WTF?!? I may not be up on my drug lingo, but I’m pretty sure that you’d get laughed at by your drug dealer if you asked him for 1g.

“Of course, it will be with you soon, my waiter will come and get a drink order from you soon. The rest will come out with your drinks in between a napkin. Please pull your curtains over a little while you take it he winked.

“Of course, it will be wiff ya soon, muh ma fuckin waiter will come an’ git uh drink order from ya soon. The rest will come out wiff yo’ drinks in between uh napkin. Please pull yo’ curtains over uh little while ya take it all ye damn hood ratz.”(I’m really going to miss the Ebonics translator!) And is he saying that he’s winking?

Castle walked back over to his booth where Katie was leaning back onto the couch leaning on her elbows facing him, her fishnet covered legs crossed facing him. He could see the boots, how high the heels were… it was easy to imagine them digging into his back while he was… damn that was a good image.

What is with this author and her shoes on during sex fetish? Read the rest of this entry

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Mock the Fic: Undercover chapter 7


Okay folks, we have one more chapter left of this fic and it’s done till the author gets off her lazy ass to write more. I know, we are all sad and crying on the inside! I know I am. What am I going to do without my cocaine and stripping Katie fix?

Stats: Title: Undercover Author: silkysexybitch Summary: Beckett and Castle go undercover to bring down a drug kinpin. Beckett has to learn to pole dance, and Castle has to fight not to lose control. Chapter 5, 6 and 7 are up! I just

The Dance

Brace yourself folks, it’s going to be bad.

Kate was standing just out of the view of the club members, waiting to be called out onto stage, or the podium to dance.

Or the platform. Or maybe the aisle. You’re the author, your should know where she’s going to be dancing. I can assure you, it probably not a dance hall with square dancing.

She was nervous, but felt oddly calm after having the cocaine.

Oh yes, like the cocaine is going to make you feel so much more calmer.

She listened to the song end and the DJ get on the microphone… “Aight, you ain’t seen nuttin till you seen my girl Katie. She gonna bring you some lovin’ if you’re a rude boy, show em Katie”

“Aight, ya ain’t seen nuttin till ya seen muh ma fuckin ho Katie. She gonna bring ya some lovin’ if you uh rude boy, show em Katie don’t make me shank ya!”

She heard the start of her music, and started walking out fast,

Please tell me she falls flat on her face! PLEASE!

it looked like a strut, due to the thigh high boots, they had heels and a big leather zip down the inside of her leg.

She looked like a chicken strutting? Wow, does she make clucking sounds too?

She got to the podium as the first part of the lyrics played.

Oh noes! Before she’s ready too! Let’s see what crappy song was picked. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Undercover Chapter 6


Okay folks, this fic is almost done. Or at least till the author decides to write us another chapter and then we will mock it! So enjoy the second to last one of the Undercover drug story.

Stats: Title: Undercover Author: silkysexybitch Summary: Beckett and Castle go undercover to bring down a drug kinpin. Beckett has to learn to pole dance, and Castle has to fight not to lose control. Chapter 5, 6 and 7 are up! I just

Friday Evening

Kate was standing in front of her bedroom mirror; it was only 6pm so she had about 30 minutes to get the finishing touches on her outfit for the evening. She decided to put more eye shadow on, not that she really needed much more than that, but she wanted to look perfect.

Oh mirror mirror on the wall, whose the fairest stripper of them all?

Looking herself up and down in the mirror she felt very sexy, also a little slutty thinking it might be considered to be something Nikki Heat would wear.

No! When Castle says: “What would Nikki Heat wear?” He did not mean stripper wear!

The costume for her dance was safely tucked away in a bag; there was no need to get into that until she was in the dressing room in the back of the club.

Oh why not? I’m sure the cab driver would enjoy a peak.

Beckett looked at her knee high boots and decided to put them in the bag too, she would wear regular high heels before going into the club.

I’d totally be wearing Nikes. Heals can be killer when it comes to dancing so might as well be in comfy shoes till the big dance!

Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Undercover Chapter 5


It’s that time again, time for more undercover pole dancing. I know you all are so excited and thrilled to see this story back. Have patients my intellegent readers, we are working our way up to the lines of coke snorting and making out scene. We should hit it this weekend, which gives everyone plenty of time to sharpen their sporks for some eye poking adventures!

Stats: Title: Undercover Author: silkysexybitch Summary: Beckett and Castle go undercover to bring down a drug kinpin. Beckett has to learn to pole dance, and Castle has to fight not to lose control. Chapter 5, 6 and 7 are up! I just

Thursday at the Precinct

Ah Thursdays. Damn, there is no Thursday song for me to sing.

Kate was late to work, she knew it would bother Castle more than anyone, and that was the aim of the game.

Sure you say this now, but you won’t be so proud when you get written up by that cranky HR woman who is pissed because of this whole HR disaster of a situation.

She wanted him to be sitting restlessly waiting for her to arrive. She was only 30 minutes late, and that would be enough for him to go just a little crazy, but most importantly it would be enough time for her to finish applying her make-up after her long shower.

Sorry Becks, but no matter how long you take that shower for, you will still smell like the Astroglide on the stripper pole and the Tiger Balm for your muscles. Phew, you’re smelly. Better watch it, you might offend someone.

Kate walked into the precinct with confidence; she looked hot and felt it too.

No that’s just the embarrassment seeping through.

Her muscles were sore after all of the pole dancing she had been doing but once she put on that green and black lingerie she felt like sex on heals.

Okay if you’re only wearing the green and black lingerie and heels (notice its heels and not heals like healing) then that HR woman is really going to be pissed. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Undercover Chapter 4


I’m not going to lie folks. This chapter is all one big long phone sex call with no happy ending. I wish it was more, but it’s not. Its just a long phone sex call.

Stats: Title: Undercover Author: silkysexybitch Summary: Beckett and Castle go undercover to bring down a drug kinpin. Beckett has to learn to pole dance, and Castle has to fight not to lose control. Chapter 5, 6 and 7 are up! I just loved all the reviews, and couldnt help myself :D Rating: M

Picking up the phone she answered “Castle, it’s been a long day.”

That’s code for HBIC danced all night.

He smiled to himself “Oh I bet it has, I just never got the chance to find out how your performance went at the club today. Would you care to share the information Detective?”

What more is there to share? She danced and twirled around a pole.

‘Damn him’ she thought “Castle I got the job and will be started on Friday night at 9pm” that was really all the information he needed to know right now.

See I told you!

It had been a long day. She slid lower into the water enjoying the feel of it against her body and the sound splash softly against the edge of the bath.

Splish splash I was taking a bath.

Castle heard water… “Where are you right now…?” He smiled to himself hoping she was in fact where he imagined.

Wait! She’s talking to him while taking a bath? Do you know how many people drop their phones in the bathtub? Okay it’s probably not as many numbers as people who drop them in the toilet, but still. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Undercover Chapter 3


I’m not sure which is worse, the real person fic, or this story? Seriously, it’s a toss up. I don’t care if you are from Australian (and no offense to some Australian writers, but why are a good chunk of the ones on this site that we mock are from Australia?) but do your effing research on police department personnel going undercover and their procedures and processes. I may not be a cop, but even I know that homicide detectives don’t go undercover and do drugs. Okay, my rant is over, for this chapter at least!

Stats: Title: Undercover Author: silkysexybitch Summary: Beckett and Castle go undercover to bring down a drug kinpin. Beckett has to learn to pole dance, and Castle has to fight not to lose control. Chapter 5, 6 and 7 are up! I just loved all the reviews, and couldnt help myself :D Rating: M

Wednesday Morning

Happy Hump Day folks! How about some stripping fic?

Work work work work, work work work work…

In the immortal words of Jimmy Buffett: “Work, work, work. I hate my job and my boss is a jerk.”

that word was running over and over again through Beckett’s head.

I guess that’s better than “shake hips 1 2 3. Shimmy 1 2 3.”

It was much easier to hear that word over and over again, like a child would say it until their parents were so frustrated they screamed.

So it’s easier to say it over and over than to make your parents scream? Huh?

Much easier than thinking about her new found pole dancing ‘career’ and the fear of stripping down to lingerie at 3pm today for a job interview.

Eeehh, I’ve been through more hellish interviews before. You should try applying for McDonalds and you will only wish you could use those pole dancing moves.

Much easier than the possibility of giving Castle a lap dance on Friday night.

I wonder if he will be having another party in his pants again?

Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Undercover Chapter 2


I would really love to say that this fic gets better,  but alas, it doesn’t. Sorry. So if you like your Beckett kind of slutty and pole dancing, and Castle to have a party in his pants, then this fic is for you. Otherwise, you will enjoy the mock.

Stats: Title: Undercover Author: silkysexybitch Summary: Beckett and Castle go undercover to bring down a drug kinpin. Beckett has to learn to pole dance, and Castle has to fight not to lose control. Chapter 5, 6 and 7 are up! I just loved all the reviews, and couldnt help myself :D Rating: M

Tuesday Morning

Well Tuesday’s suck. It’s a day that just has no meaning.

Beckett walked into the precinct knowing she had one dance lesson and a shopping trip with Castle to get over with today.

Well I don’t know about you, but I’m not one to pass up an employee discount at Vicky Secrets.

What kind of captain would allow a man like Castle to shop for lingerie with his detective?

One that just loves filling out sexual harassment paperwork.

Perhaps one who didn’t mind challenging her limits?

No, just the paperwork. Montgomery just love paperwork and making the HR woman all pissy.

Either way it looked like it could be a long day ahead. Taking a seat at her desk sipping a hot coffee that was running out too quickly she set into some serious research on her background story for tomorrow’s interview.

Woman! Get back on the pole instead of police work! What do you think they pay you for?

She was 28 years old, internally she was happy about that, and her name was Katie.

Okay what? Is her body feeling older than her actually age? I hate it when that happens. Maybe some more Tiger Balm will help her feel younger.

Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Undercover Chapter 1


Okay, as cliched as the pregnancy fics are, so are the undercover fics. This one is the worst cliched fic of them all. Kate Beckett goes under cover as a stripper. Yes, you heard me right, our HBIC goes under cover as a stripper and Castle does drugs. I warn you, you will need a hot scolding hot shower, and lots of hand sanitizer for this one folks.

Stats: Title: Undercover Author: silkysexybitch Summary: Beckett and Castle go undercover to bring down a drug kinpin. Beckett has to learn to pole dance, and Castle has to fight not to lose control. Chapter 5, 6 and 7 are up! I just loved all the reviews, and couldnt help myself 😀 Rating: M

Friday Afternoon


Ooh Friday’s are always a good day!

“Beckett I think we can both agree that this is a dangerous undercover assignment, and Castle would be more believable as your boyfriend than Ryan or Esposito.” The captain was trying to reason with her and get her focus back on the case.

BWAHAHAHAHA That is just too funny. I’d rather see Montgomery pose as her pimp instead.

“Sir I just think it would not be smart to put a civilian undercover, especially with such an important case, the department has been after this guy for months. In fact almost a year” Beckett almost begged.

I believe that is what we call a “HR NIGHTMARE!”

Looking back at Beckett, hiding his humour behind a straight face “Sorry Beckett did you just infer that I’m not smart?”

Nope she’s just saying you would be a better pimp than Castle would be. That feather hat would like nice on you Captain oh Captain!

Kate Beckett quickly realised what she had done, and how she was obviously not going to win, and gave in “Of course not sir, I didn’t mean it the way it came out.”

Yes she did, she totally wants you to be her Big Pimp!

Time to admit defeat, “I’m sure going undercover with Castle will be a good challenge.” Even in her mind that sounded a little wrong, but luckily it was just the captain and her having this conversation.

A little wrong? How about hella wrong!

The captain walked out of his office towards Castle with Beckett following close behind scowling. Looking towards Ryan, Esposito and Castle the captain let them know what they were dealing with on this case.

The drug ‘kingpin’ was a black man in his late twenties with a taste dealing drugs, drinking and young socialites that were loose and friendly.

So in other words its Spencer Pratt as a black man? Read the rest of this entry

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