Category Archives: Sporks to the Eye
Happy Birthday BadCastleFic readers! Today is our 1 year birthday! Wow year goes by quickly doesn’t it? Since I started this blog showcasing bad fanfic in the Castle fandom, Castle was a wee bit smaller of a community with a so so amount of fanfic. Since then, it’s seems to have jumped leaps and bounds. Yet with all the new fanfic we get, we also seem to get the bad fanfic. Thus meaning I get to keep my blogging job that pays jack squat! YAY! Now onward to the fic, where we will continue to read the horrifying Dancing with the Detectives. Word of warning, I am mocking this between commercials for Fringe and I’m a wee bit drunk.
Stats: Title:Dancing with the Detectives Author: Redheadthegreat Summary: what happens when beckett and castle get called on to dance on dancing with the stars? not good at summarys but PLEASE read because i love you all! oh and this WILL turn out caskett and has NOTHING to do with to love & die in L.A
Hey guys! just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the subscriptions and the reviews! and i just wanted to give another chapter! the next is on the way! thanks for all of your love! i love you all too!
Oh I love you too, but only that sort of love a person feels when they find a golden nugget and want to tell the world about what they found.
The next morning Beckett woke up to her alarm clocks radio.
Wow, how many clocks does she have since she has clocks radio?
The song that 93Q
Okay, are we name dropping a real radio station in LA or is this your favorite radio station that you listen to in small town America.
was playing was “tonight tonight”, by Rascal Flatts.
Okay, random name dropping of a country band.
She smiled as she realized one of her favorite songs was playing,
Of course it was her favorite song…oh I mean the authors favorite song.
and she got up, ready for the looked at her apartment
Ready for the looked at her apartment? What, is her Apartment a fashionista nazi who wants to show off their awesome fashion skills.
one more time, before taking her heavy luggage down the stairs.
Oh so we are stuck in New York. I wonder if she lives in Down Town, NY? That could only explain why her apartment is a fashionista.
She flung the heavy suitcase in the trunk, and drove off to the precinct to see her friends one last time before she headed off to the city of dreams.
Yes, because that’s what we all do is visit our coworkers one last time before we go on vacation. Duh.
She knew she would see them the night of the show,
So are they flying to LA every Monday? Wow that’s expensive. Must be that huge salary they make in Down Town, NY.
and almost every show if a big murder case didn’t come up, but she knew she would miss them for the month that they would be training for.
Wow, that was an epically long run on sentence with way too much information.
She parked the car in the parking garage and saw castles car.
I hope it’s a bouncy castle car since it obviously can’t be Castle’s car since it isn’t capitalized.
Something looked different about it, but she ignored it and strode to the elevators. The doors opened a minute later and she saw castle at her desk with 3 boxes of doughnuts, freshly brewed coffee for everyone, and lots of detectives flooding around the desk like a sea of cops.
Wow a sea of cops. I wonder if they all have blue on and do the wave.
She saw in the crowd Esposito and Ryan and Lanie.
Do I dare ask why she is hanging out at the precinct and not at the morgue, which isn’t at the precinct.
She saw Montgomery walking towards her and she smiled.
Oh goodie, this is a fic with Montgomery being the loving daddy figure for Beckett.
He cane and gave her a hug
So he caned her and gave her a hug? Worst torturer ever.
before pulling back and saying, “oh Beckett, I never thought I would have seen you dancing!
Wells he does perform at the strip joint every other Friday night. I’m sure she’d let you get in free. Just make sure to tip her with some nice new ones.
Now your a singing, dancing cop!
Oh boy! A singing dancing cop! I sense a remake of Cop Rock. I’m sure Fox will pick it up and air it after Glee. It’ll be a great way for the when the Glee kids get old to continue singing and being dramafied. Oh and you used the wrong your, but that wasn’t a surprise.
Oh I’m SO going to have to twitter this!”
Wait, so Montgomery is going to twitter that she’s a singing cop? What?
he whipped out his phone and started typing. She rolled her eyes and said, “oh captain, are you sure castle isnt rubbing off on you?”
Wow, that is the utmost worst characterization of the Captain I have ever read. I sure hope Rubin Santiago-Hudson smacks you on the back of the head.
he laughed and put his phone away and looked at her one more time, smiling warmly. “can’t wait to see you on the dance floor in a month!” and he strode off towards the elevators.
Why is she getting a month to prepare? Don’t they normally get two weeks or so to prepare?
she started towards the desk, and just then Ryan noticed who was heading their was,
So how could Ryan be heading their when he can’t posses heading somewhere.
and with a mouth full of doughnut holes he said “HEY! ITS BECKETT!”
So is Beckett the new Norm? Read the rest of this entry
I am going to warn everyone! This next fic is one that will make you want Brain bleach! It’s bad, yo. BAD! This fic officially earns the first annual Brain Bleach award! Congrats! The author should be proud. Please everyone! Read this fic responsibly and have a bottle Jack and a cup of Brain Bleach ready for the ending!
Stats: Title: castle one shots Author:Beckett’sHEART Summary:this is only one shots if you want to write more to it be my guest but contact me first i would love to read what you write. ah! im so bored and this is what happens enjoy this is not only rated m stories others will be added later Rating: M
Castle sat patiently in Beckett’s car waiting for her to take him home. He still did not own a car.
Wow, for a multimillionaire, Castle sure is lazy and cheap.
He seemed to like Beckett driving him from and to his apartment,
I believe you meant to say, “to and from.”
even though she always denied his invitation to join him for a drink.
This fic makes me wish I had a stiff drink.
Today would be different. Beckett really need a drink today. The case today was very stressful.
Me is Captain Caveman. Me is thirsty. Me really need a drink today. Me case was very stressful. Congratulations author, you just made an English teacher cry.
Beckett climbed in to the driver’s seat and started the car. She jumped up when the loud music almost popped her car speakers.
I guess that means she was busted listen to Justin Beiber in her car, blaring from the speakers. Oh and generally, when you jump, you jump up, not down. Therefore, you can get rid of the repetitive word “up.”
She turned it down so that it was only background noise.
Poor Beiber, gets no love.
She looked at castle for a while before bursting out laughing.
Wow, I’m laughing too because you can’t seem to capitalize Castle’s name. I’m sure he’s laughing at your stupidity too.
Castle then joined her, she was laughing so hard she had to hold her stomach. After a good laugh she pulled out of her parking space.
And it’s people like them that makes me want to go all road rage on people when they sit in a parking spot forever and a day.
The drive to his apartment was a bit long because of the traffic.
“so Beckett what are you so happy about I haven’t seen a smile like that on your face since the case about the jewels?” Rick turned to face her and give her his full attention.
1. Capitals! Please capitalize the first word of a sentence! It’s something we all learned how to do in first grade. 2. That sentence needs to be split up into two sentences, and not to mention they need utter help.
Kate licked her lips before answering Castle’s question. “Well I am happy because the case is over and this time I think I will accept you offer to join you for a glass of wine or glasses of wine.”
Oh how classy of her. Invite herself in and ask for not just one glass of wine, but two. Read the rest of this entry