Category Archives: 2

Mock the Fic: Waited Too Long

When I saw that the author of the last really bad sex fic had another smut fic out, I just couldn’t pass it up. This one isn’t as bad as the previous ones, but its still up there. We here at Bad Castle Fic like to think we are doing the world a justice by teaching bad authors that if they have never had sex, then they shouldn’t write about it.

Stats: Title:Waited Too Long Author:iiLoveeYoouuCastlee Summary: Smut/lemon/ whatever you want to call it. Dedicated to my friend thecastlefan. OOC.  Rating: M

Also I think Pedobear came out of the woodworks when he saw this fic coming out by a person who was under the age of 15, and is writing smut. Therefore this fic gets the Pedobear Seal of Approval! It also gets our new Lemon Seal!


ust another Castle fanfiction. Basically smut, for my friend thecastlefan.

I sure hope that ust is supposed to be “just” and not unresolved sexual tension, because if this is a smut fic, then its no longer unresolved. Its resolved! And I feel sorry for you friend.

I havent really had too much experience at writing these, and its really OOC. Anyway, please review!

Oh frak. Just admit it, you’ve never had sex, and you are doing a self insert as Becks in this fic, aren’t you?

Being alon at the precinct was always just a little unnerving. The eerie sound of silence; the sound of lifelessness, really  weighed down the atmosphere.

It’s a police precinct. Its open 24 hours, I’m sure there is always something going on inside that place. Crime stops for no one, and no time.

I usually stayed this late because I hated going home to an empty apartment. I had broken up with Will, and couldn’t work up the courage to ask out Castle.


Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: In the Mood

I’m not going to lie. This next mock is filled with all kinds of potty humor. What can I say? I just couldn’t resist. It’s also by a repeat offender too, who is now killing baby seals with their stories. Let’s go with the stats: Title: In the Mood
Author: castlebeckett4eva
Summary: Beckett decides to give Castle a taste of his own medicine, so she teases him by leading him on. But then he turns it around and she is stuck. What will happen? One Shot. Rated T just to be safe. Rating: T

Sporks to the eyes: 2

Puke bags needed: 3

Detective Kate Beckett was in a mood.

Oh what mood could she be in? Cranky, constipated, quixotic, tense, violent, guilty, suspicious…

It wasn’t an angry mood or an annoyed mood. She couldn’t describe it.

Constipated it is then.

She was sure she hadn’t felt this way before.

Oh I’m sure she has, she just needs to eat more bran.

So she didn’t know what to do.

I’m sure any bodega has some laxative she could take. It’s not that hard…

That was until Castle walked into the precinct.

Oh no! This can’t be good.

Then she knew exactly what she wanted to do.

Have him go to the bodega for some laxative? Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: He’ll Never Know

Look everyone! We have BadFic back again wanting to guest mock another story. I hope after the last mock they did that it didn’t cause them to have to now use the  Retard Rocket. So if you have a goat or tree fetish, and like fine wines out of a box, then continue to go and collect $200 from the author of our next story.

Lets take a look at the stats for this story: Title: He’ll never know Author:granola girl 1115 Summary:
Summary: She loves him, he doesn’t know. Now Castles been shot and Kate is scared he’ll never know how she feels. Hours she waits to see if he’ll live,hours she dreams of what thier life could be togather. Will Kate get the chance to turn those dreams into life? (BF: Dreams are much like rainbows: only idiots chase them.) Rating: T

BCF Note: This story is so horrible, I can’t help but jump in and co-mock it with Badfic.

Puke Bags Needed: 3

Sporks to your eyes: 2

“Castle, stay in the car.” I demanded from the my “shadow”.

I don’t know what a ‘the my “shadow”’ is. Is this a rap song I missed while kickin’ in with my ATL Housewives peeps?

For about two years now, author Richard Castle has been following me on a writing job.

No shit! Really? (BCF: Wow, I haven’t been watching Castle, I just thought I would randomly read a story from the show and now I know whats going on. Thanks!)

He wants to see what it’s like to be a real detective.

He could have just watched a few episodes of COPS. (BCF: He could also try Law and Order so that way he gets both the cops and lawyers point of view. Its a two for one special!) Read the rest of this entry

Mock a Fic: Annoying needs a cure

This story has a bit of a history to it. This is the first story by the author castlebeckett4eva and boy did I ever wish I hadn’t. It should have been a warning when I saw that the tile had no capitalization. Normally I wouldn’t touch any stories from this author, but for you I will.

Lets get the stats: Title: annoying needs a cure Author:castlebeckett4eva Summary: Castle is annoying kate (BCF: AHH CAPITALIZE THE NAME!) so she turns up to work in a short dress and high heels and teases him, so hopefully he wouldn’t annoy her any more. But he turns up to her apartment that night. What will he do?  Rating: T

Puke Bags Needed: 2

Sporks to the eye: 2

Chapter 1

“Beckett your suck a fun killer” he said sulkily,

Suck a fun killer? Is that some new sex act? And do you do it sulkily too? Wow, I feel out of date with my sex acts.

after pulling a wise ass joke and she ignored him. She was trying to pack up so she could go home.

Don’t forget to pack up Castle while you are at it.

“Yer well, you should be grateful I’m not all over you like the rest of the chicks in the world are,

Wow, when did Kate Beckett turn into a hillbilly? Is this what it’s like living in Down Town, NY? Or is it Down Town, Arkansas? Is that where you can suck a fun killer? Really? I need to know, I am taking notes.

and that I don’t wear short little exposing dresses and high heels.” he smirked at her and she rolled her eyes.

No Daisy Dukes for Hillbilly Becks? She’s no fun.

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind it one bit.” Read the rest of this entry

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