Category Archives: TelevisionSlave

Guest Mock the Fic: Drunk Chapter 2


Our guest mocker Becks is back to finish chapter 2 of Drunk. I’m sure we can all have pity on Kate Beckett after this weekend’s binge drinking. At least we would if she wasn’t having one of the BEST HANGOVERS EVER! Yup, that’s right, she doesn’t feel or remember a thing folks. Now on to the guest mock!

Stats: Title: Drunk Author: TelevisionSlave Summary: When Beckett doesn’t answer her phone, Castle goes over to her apartment. He finds her drunk and in the mood. When she tries to get into his pants, Castle is faced with a choice. And then the next morning. Rating: T

Much to my surprise, I did actually fall asleep around four. Maybe it was my will to get it over with, I don’t know. It was a restless slumber, and what finally woke me was what I had been dreading ever since I tried to fall asleep on the couch.

Wait, I thought you were trying NOT to fall asleep. Now I’m confused.

Beckett. I’m pretty sure I was snoring slightly, but that didn’t matter. I was awakened to the achingly familiar call of my name, “Castle!”

Today we’ll be strangling small Third World children each time a sentence is ended with inappropriate punctuation. First up is Jose from Belize. He’s four and has a very cute lisp. Er, rather, had a very cute lisp.

After hearing my name called, I did my best to wake up fully. But I still half asleep,

I good writer. My sentence no verb.

and that was definitely not helping. Opening my eyes, my vision was blurred from sleep and all I could see was an outline of what I assumed was Beckett in front of me.

It could be Beckett. Or it could be Freddy Krueger. THE KILLER IS CALLING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!!!

Damn, she was awake.

Hopefully she doesn’t remember anything that happened after you slipped that roofie into her last Blue Moon. These morning-after-the-date-rapes are starting to get awkward. Read the rest of this entry

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Guest Mock the Fic: Drunk


Well folks, sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you. Since I’m having to move a current mock series to the List O’Shame, I decided to pass the  mocking reigns to my newest  Guest Mocker: Becks so I can clean up the mess from someone who has no sense of humor! This is a special fic I requested mocking. It features HBIC getting drunk on Blue Moons (WTF?!) and Castle saying no to sex. Good times yo! Fear not BCF fans, I will be back again this afternoon for a all new snarky mock again

Stats: Title: Drunk Author: TelevisionSlave Summary: When Beckett doesn’t answer her phone, Castle goes over to her apartment. He finds her drunk and in the mood. When she tries to get into his pants, Castle is faced with a choice. And then the next morning. Rating: T

It had been a long day. Beckett and I had worked our best on a case about a dead teenage girl all week. Someone had raped and shot this girl. Beckett had became obsessed with the case and it got personal.

Oh, I can see how this is going to go already. No, no she had not became anything. She may have become obsessed, but honestly, I’m not seeing it. You’re going to have to work a little harder to show me why this victim is any different from any of the other victims she deals with on an everyday basis. Was this teenage girl her mom? No? Okay, then no.

We found the murderer, everyone knew it was him. But we didn’t have enough evidence to convict his ass in court.

But what about the rest of him?

I could tell Beckett was devastated and angry, at the killer and herself.

She’s angry at herself…because she did the murder? No? Then… Oh, forget it.

After court she stormed out of the precinct and to her apartment. I tried calling her multiple times but it would just lead to voicemail. Finally I took a taxi cab over to her place and knocked on the door.

Because the best way to handle someone who’s upset and doesn’t want to talk to you is always to go to their house and force a confrontation.

I stood there for about a minute, waiting. When I was about to admit defeat and turn around to go home,

For someone who chases down people who don’t answer his calls, you sure do give up fast when they don’t answer the door.

the door opened. Beckett stood at the doorway, her arm holding onto it like she needed it for support.

I’m trying to work out how one holds onto a doorway with one’s arm. Either she’s got a lot of extra joints that most people don’t have, or she has a really weird doorway.

“Why hello, Kitten…What brings you to my place?” She giggled, stepping back to give me room to enter. I stepped into her apartment and looked around. Empty bottles of beer were on the table and I could smell the alcohol from here. God, how much did she drink?

And how fast did she drink it? My God, she’s only been gone from the precinct what, half an hour, tops? Check for frat boys, because there HAD to have been a chorus of “Chug, chug, chug!” going on in the background.

Read the rest of this entry

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