Category Archives: The Jackall

Mock the Fic: Complete Loss


Since we are nearing the one year anniversary of BadCastleFic.com, I thought it would be fun to revisit some of the authors that made BCF so popular. My first revisit is to the author formally known as the jackall or the award winning author whose fic was the first Castle fic I ever mocked. So it looks like since mocking the jackall that person has changed their name to Cobra Grimes and combined all the one shot Castle fics to one big story. Since it seems I’ve mocked the other two, it’s only fitting I mock the third one.

Stats: Title: Complete Loss Author: Cobra Grimes Subject: All my one shots in one convient place! Rating: M


As he lies in his bed in the motel he cannot help but wonder why him.

Because the show is named after him?

He lost his home and the true love of his life all in one night because of one horrible disaster.

Teaches you to leave the stove on while you’re gone.

A few hours earlier

Okay…

Richard Castle had just returned home from his first date with Kate Beckett and he couldn’t be happier.

Awww isn’t that so sweet. I’m surprised he didn’t take her home and throw her against the wall and have sex, since that’s what the majority of the Castle fandom feels is going to happen on their first date.

As he was heading up the stairs to his room his phone rang,

Hello, Castle? Yes, this is me, your Loft. Remember that one time you got drunk and fell asleep in the bed with your mom? Yeah, we don’t want that to happen again ether, so I thought I would call to remind you that your bedroom isn’t upstairs, instead its downstairs off to the side of your office. You’ll thank me in the morning. Bye!

it was Esposito.

Oh so Esposito gets to be the one to remind you that your room is downstairs.

“We got a case Javi?”

Since when has Castle been on a first name basis with Esposito?

“No, Ryan and I have a case.”

So why are we having this

“Well why are you calling me then?”

Because someone has to remind you where your bedroom is located. Plus drunk dialing is fun.

“Well I need you to come down to the precinct as soon as possible.”

Ooh please tell me we are drunk dialing the mayor. Read the rest of this entry

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Guest Mock the Fic: Demming’s Girl


YAY! We have another Guest Mock from BadFic. Don’t worry folks, its not a season finale mock, but fear not, they will be mocked. Warning folks, this fic is from a repeat offender and is short and makes you want to bang your head against your computer.

Stats: Title: Demming’s Girl Author:The jackall Summary: A little What if story. Rating: K

A/N: What if the cop that approached Castle had been Demming? What if up to Den of thieves Castle had been working with robbery not homicide? What if Castle and Demming met Beckett at the same time?   Based on “Jessie’s Girl” By Rick Springfield. Special thanks to DecemberL. Rose for Beta reading this for me!

As if a Drunken Stupor and Death and despair weren’t enough, The Jackall is back to take you on another WTF-inducing amusement park ride. Now, where’s my drinky-drinky? I think I’m going to need it.

Rick Castle and Tom Demming had been working together for two years now.

Oh noes! Tom Demming is replacing Simon on RC: Drunken Stupor?! What ever will Bravo do now? I guess Simon’s fee was too high. Cheap bastards.

Over that time they have become good friends, Tom even comes to Castle’s weekly poker games.

Someone must be gettin’ paid under the table.

But after their last case something changed between them.

Tom… I never thought… I don’t know how to say this… you’re Alexis’ real father.

Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: A Drunken Stupor


Congradulations! This blog is so popular that we have people wanting to be guest Mockers! Awesome! Our First Guest Mocker goes to: BadFic, who quickly mocked this lovely gem of a story out of the depths of fanfiction.net. Lets hope this guest Mocking position doesn’t go to their head and do some damage.

Story Stats: A Drunken Stupor. The Author (is a repeat offender): The jackall. Rated: M (I guess thats an M for Man Drinking? Sure was no sex in this story).

“A Drunken Stupor: Castle has a little drinky drinky.” –The Jackall

BF note: Uh, clearly Castle wasn’t the only one…

A/N: I wanted to try a one shotter I had come to me while I was trying to go to sleep. Enjoy!

WTF is a ‘one shotter’? I think prefer body shotters myself. And I wouldn’t have been able to sleep with this on my mind either. Nightmares are serious business.

He was sitting in the bar drinking away his sorrows when he saw her walk in.

Everybody in da club gettin’ tipsy.

when she looked towards where he was sitting he ran to the bathroom to hide.

And what was he doing in the bathroom? Given the M rating, only one thing comes to mind. Oh wait. He was hiding from a girl? That’s stupid.

Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Death and Dispair


Our first mock is by special request: Death and Despair by The jackall, from Fanfiction.net. Just to give it some stats: Description: Stuff Happens (BCF: Really? Wow! Best description ever!Rating: T. Hurt/Comfort. (BCF: Alright whose ready for some good old H/C fic time?)

Chapter 1

The last thing he remember hearing was “Goodbye Nikki.” then Kate Beckett’s Apartment exploded. The only thing he could do as the smoke billowed out of the apartment building was fall to his knees and try to figure out why somebody would destroy Kate Beckett.

I wonder if he went all Kirk like from Wraith of Khan and screamed: “BECKETT!”  and then shook his fist? At least that would be better than his self wallowing as Kate Beckett burned to death in her apartment. Read the rest of this entry

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