Sorry for the vacation we had while we waiting on an influx of new bad fics to be released for us to mock! Hope everyone is having a great American Thanksgiving weekend and a happy Black Friday. To celebrate, I present a new mock! YAY!
Ever want to fulfill a self fulfilling prophecy, then always start your stories with this.
Author’s Note: so any reviews are still greatly appreciated! and it’s definitely very roughly written… so forgive my horrible grammar and bad tenses…
Wow, I already hate you.
Beckett stepped into the elevator of the 12th Precinct, with her morning coffee, she had been tossing and turning all night trying to piece together the evidence in her head.
So she now stores evidence in her head? I’m sure if the defense lawyers ever found out about this they would have a field day.
She really shouldn’t gone home it had only one benefit and that was the hot shower and changing into fresh clothes.
I think my third grade teacher is crying after readying the at sentence.
She was about to press the button to go up when she heard Castle call out “Hold the Door!” she pushed the button to hold the doors open and Castle appeared. He wasn’t his usual chipper self, no warming smile.
Aww does Castle need some Prozac?
“Castle what’s with upside down smile… no decoder ring in the cereal box this morning?”
Do they even still put toys in cereal boxes? That is so 1989.
Beckett teased pouting playfully as Castle frowned obviously not happy.
Wow a non clichéd bitter Beckett. I am impressed.
“Priya is in town” Castle grumbled
I see this is another story that is period challenged and has unique named Mary Sue characters. Wonderful! It’s like a Christmas present to all Castle Fans.
“Who is Priya?” Beckett asked as she punched the button for homicide floor figuring she was probably an ex- something of Castle’s that had re-emerge.
And a Hanukkah present filled with no commas!
The door closed and the elevator started to rise up.
Sadly, the Aerosmith song “Love in an Elevator” just popped into my head.
“A bundle of sugar and joy” Castle replied sarcastically
Oh Santa, thank-you so much for this bundle of joy of a fic that this author wrote us and decided to leave unbeta. If only you had gotten me a lump of coal instead.
“Any progress on the murder?”
You mean the murder of an author who can’t use proper grammar?
This fic has turned from just an AU to having serial killer undertones.Lets just say that Kate Beckett will ignore everything us women have ever been taught. But don’t say I didn’t warn her when she gets killed and her body is dumped on the side of some abandoned rode in Down Town, NY.
There in front of them stood their hunky instructor. He was tall with dark brown hair, piercing blue eyes and his chiseled torso and arms showing through his button down shirt.
All three, Kate in particular had to fan themselves even though it was on the cool side in Santa Cruz that day.
Well someone is fueling the male ego.
“My name is Rick Castle. Is there a Ms. Kate Beckett amongst you?” asked the hunky surfer.
And if you hadn’t seen that one coming then I have some swamp land in Florida to sell you.
Kate froze; the surfer was asking for her and yet she can’t move.
If this had been my friends they would’ve laughed and tossed me to the front.
“Um, I am,” said Kate before she could stop herself.
“Well Ms. Beckett, it looks like you and your friends are the lucky ones today. So if you want, I can give you a personal one-on-one lesson and arrange one for each of your friends.”
Is that what the cool kids are calling it these days?
All three of them gaped.
Kate thought this is too good to be true. He is too cute to pass this up.
Lanie and Madison thought Kate is so lucky to have an instructor immediately take interest in her.
And once again I’m sure at this point my friends would all tell him that they were all me. I have such lovely friends. Read the rest of this entry →
Let’s take a crack at mocking an AU fic. Although in my opinion all the crap fics we mock here are AU, but this one specifically mentions the fact that it is an AU. I shall warn you, this has a rant by me about a certain theme park that shall remain nameless in this section that I hate and want my money back from going to visit there. Meanwhile back on the ranch, this fic sure is such a fun one to mock. So let’s sit around the camp fire and hear about the stories of what if Kate Beckett…
Disclaimer: I do not own Castle, Andrew W. Marlow and ABC do.
Thank-God they do because I’d hate to see what you would do with the show if it was in your hands.
Author’s Note: Total AU story idea. A random story idea that wouldn’t leave me alone.
This is what bothers you at night? I’d hate to see what idea’s you forget about.
What if Kate’s mother had not been murdered and both Rick and Kate had different careers. No Sorenson or Demming in this story.
No Demming? 😦
A/N 2: First chapter is a set up of what is to come. I apologize for making Kate, Lanie, or Madison a bit OCC.
They are Obsessive Compulsive Cats? Orange County Choppers? Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics?
Beta’d by: Beckett NYPD
Well then I demand perfection!
Life is good. Kate Beckett and her friends Lanie Parish and Madison Queller were enjoying the California sun.
Oh good for them. That’s just wonderful.
Kate’s parents gave Kate and her two best friends a three-travel package to California for her, Lanie and Madison as a graduation gift.
Wow, and to think all I got for graduation was a blue topaz ring and a card.
It was natural for them to go together as they have been inseparable since grade school.
Well I’m sure it would be since I’m sure her parents bought it as a travel package for them to go together!
They spent one week in San Diego and Los Angeles and two weeks in Northern California.
In San Diego they went to Sea World,
Ugh, don’t remind me how much I hate Sea World. Most disappoint theme park ever! Don’t even get me started on this place. I could rant for hours. I’m double sure Castle would never subjugate his daughter to going to Sea World, let alone Kate Beckett lowering herself to go there. Oh and I call it Puke World because I swear some kid always throws up there. Read the rest of this entry →