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Mock the Fic: Homicide Hottie

And just when you think we hit rock bottom on bad fanfics, something like this comes along and smacks you in the face. Now while you go read and enjoy the fic, I’m going to go take my blood pressure medicine and drink some whisky to help forget this piece of crap of a fic.

Stats: Title:Homicide Hottie Author:CASTLEMESILLY514 Summary: Everyone knows the Castle is a great father and that Beckett admiars that, but now she has a chance to be a mother or a aunt. meanwhile beckett and castle need help on this case so the turn to beckett street smart neiece to help on this case Rating: K

I still stand behind the theory that the more words misspelled in the summary, the more I will want to kill the author by the end of the story.

Chapter 1: The Invite

Well, at least you spelled everything so far correctly, so far so good.

It was a regular morning in the castle loft.

And that didn’t last long. Okay let’s play a game, for every spelling/grammar mistake you make, I will kill a LOLCat. That’s right, one of those cute, little fluffy kitties that have funny little words and they, just like you, can’t spell or use grammar correctly. I’ll let that one slide, but the rest are all on you.

Alexis was getting ready for school while her father Rick Castle was sitting down in front of his laptop writing the next chapter for his latest book “Heat Flash”.

Heat Flash? That doesn’t even make sense.

“Hey are you going to see Dective Beckett today?”

Aww the poor little “I can has cheezburger?” cat just died a painful death.

ask Alexis grabbing her book bag

Have you ever heard of past tense usage where you add an “ed” to the end of a word? Congrats, you just killed “monorail cat.” I hope you like walking.

“well unless there is a murder I need to finish this chapter”

Hate to say it, but there has been murder, murder of the cute little “Have you seen my bucket” Walrus. Shame on you.

her father said looking back down at his laptop. “Ok see you after school then love you” said Alexis as she kissed her dad on his forehead

And now the cute little “Wait I can fix it” kitty is now dead after trying to fix your story.

“see ya kiddo love you 2” Castle called back as she headed out the door.

I am really restraining to kill you because I am sure you are only 8 years old because I know for a fact that anyone older than that can write out the word “too.” Oh and the “I has flavor” kitty died from licking your really bad fic.

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