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Mock the Fic: Undercover part 2


I wish I had better news, but this fic just keeps continuing. I know you all are just dying to read the next chapter of this fic! I’ve decided that this has to be altverse Castle and Glee. That’s the only way to explain this crappiness and horrible characterization of this fic. Please let it end soon. Once again, you will want the brain bleach afterwords.

Stats: Title: Undercover Author:LuckyLaugher Summary: A serial killer is in Ohio and Kate Beckett has to catch the bastard before he killed someone. Rating: K

Chapter Two: To School

Kate woke up. She looked at the clock and saw that she had still an hour. She took a shower, got dressed and drank her coffee. It didn’t feel normal to have a house for her alone. It was time to go.

Doesn’t she live alone in an apartment? Only thing different about living in a house vs an apartment is you don’t have people above you stomping around. And how did the precinct afford to give her a house? Shouldn’t she be living in a no name motel?

When she arrived at the school, she was walking around when Emma bumped into her.

Don’t you have to check in at the office and get a badge these days? I know its been about ten years since I was last in high school, but even then I had to wear a badge and so did the faculty.

“You alright?” Emma asked.

“Yeah, you?” Kate asked the woman nodded.

Okay, I’m not a huge fan of Glee, I enjoy the show and all, but wouldn’t Emma have to go take a shower since someone touched her?

“Hi, I’m Be- Kate Beckett”

“Hi, then you are the new math teacher? I’m Emma Pillsbury the guidance counsellor.”

Wow, you might not be able to us punctuation, but you sure do know how to insert extra letters into the words.

“Yeah, nice to meet you.”

I still don’t know what Kate Beckett being a cop means for her to be a math teacher.

“Yes, nice to meet you too. I think that I’m the one who will show you around until you really start. I think it was Monday.”

Okay here is a free English lesson for this author: “was” designates it as something that has happened. So if it hasn’t happed yet, then don’t use was.

“Yeah, I start Monday.”

“Now let’s put your stuff in my office.”

What kind of stuff does she have? Has she already gone out and purchased a “Worlds Best Teacher” mug already? Read the rest of this entry

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Mock the Fic: Undercover part 1


I don’t understand the need to crossover two shows that obviously have nothing in common and shouldn’t be crossed over. I get the idea of crossing Law and Order characters over with Castle (ooh McCoy as our DA on Castle? AWESOME!) But crossing Castle with Glee makes me want to bang my head against the wall and go WTF?! Obviously these two don’t exist in the same universe, or genre. And I will be seriously disturbed and will cry “JUMP THE SHARK!” if we have a music episode of Castle. So folks, if you can’t tell, we have yet another Glee/Castle crossover fic. Why the hell anyone picks this pairing is beyond me. I know I said I was taking the holiday weekend off, but I had too many people tell me about this fic and ask me to mock it asap that I present a “special” Saturday holiday mock. It has my favorite clichés in it: working undercover (sorry, no baby in this one, yet)!

Stats: Title: Undercover Author:LuckyLaugher Summary: A serial killer is in Ohio and Kate Beckett has to catch the bastard before he killed someone. Rating: K

Once again, weird formating warning: I didn’t format this fic, this was all the authors work.

This is my first crossover, hope you like it

And hopefully last. What the hell are we even crossing this fic over with?

Chapter one: To Ohio

I dread going to Ohio, I really really do.

Kate Beckett sat behind her desk. It was a normal day, without a case. Castle went home to work

on his book. Ryan and Esposito were having lunch, when the captain called her in to his office.

I think we’ve had this conversation before, please stop talking to me like I’m 2. Unless you are attempting to write the newest Olivia book, then stop talking down to me! Die.

“Beckett,” The captain said.

“Yes, sir.”

“In my office” She walked into his office.

Wow, do you also jump when the Captain says jump?

“What’s wrong, sir?”

“Sit down” She sat down and he continued.

Did Castle die? Or maybe it was Alexis. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the fic: The Newlywed Game Castle


Okay folks, I swear I don’t set out to find these fics, they find me. They come running, screaming and begging me to mock theme. This starts out small, but fear not, it has five fandoms for me to mock in it, it’ll get better. Oh and if I haven’t mentioned this yet, I have a theory, the longer your Fanfiction.net profile is, the more you will make readers want to spork their eyes out.

Stats: Title: The_Newlywed_game_Castle Author: kym667103 Summary: A Crossover fic with Cold Case, Bones, NCIS, Castle, or Twilight. Rating: T

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Cold Case, Bones, NCIS, Castle, or Twilight.

Okay, we are going to mock five fandoms with this fic! Fabulous!

Castle

Rick Castle

I just found out that my publisher signed Kate and I up for The Newlywed game.

Wow, that would be impressive if they were actually married. And is this show still on? Oh wait, Game Show Network. Are we out of idea’s already that we have to resuscitate old game shows?

She said it would be good publicity, but I was scared it had taken me a long time to win Kate I love her more then she could ever know.

I feel a puke bag moment.

I don’t even understand my first two marriages were nothing like this.

Huh? You don’t even understand your first two marriages? Let’s see, the first one had Meredith cheating on you. God only knows about the second one?

I was scared Kate would kill me for this one. That stupid letter that lay on my desk now was the cause of all this worry, and my stupid publisher.

I’m still trying to fathom the why behind this. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Castle Cullen


In the spirit of bad crossovers, I have a real humdinger for you. It’s a Castle/CSI NY/Twilight fic. No I am not joking. I bet you are thinking, “why didn’t I think of this first?” This is a fic that I was first told about by a member of Robotorgo, and when I first heard about it, I thought it was a joke. Sure it was mentioned from time to time, but no sign of it ever showing up. Till today, which was when I found it on the Castletv.net fanfic section.

Stats: Title:Castle Cullen Author: PrincessMidna Summary:She is a 21 year old adopted human, training to be a CSI; he is a 166 year old vampire, working as a personal trainer.  She knows little of her past; he knows as good as everything about his. Her parents died when she was a baby; his parents thought he died in the war. She has never fallen in love; neither has he. Then they met. Upon their first meet and first touch they feel the same; love. A feeling know yet completely unknown to the both of them.But what happens when someone from her past threatens to catch up with her? Will they be strong together, or will they be split; all alone, weak and easily destructible? Rating: M

Chapter 1 – The job offer

Oh goodie! I like job offers!

Yuuki’s POV

Yuuki?

I was in the kitchen, rocking out to Three Days Grace whilst frying chicken for dinner.

Three Days Grace? That’s the best rockin band you could find?

Therefore I did not notice when my cell rang. My brother, Richard, however noticed it. He laid a hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump.

Brother Rick? Rick has a brother?

“Rick, you scared me! What was that for?”

“Your cell,” he answered and held it up in front of me, “is ringing. I don’t know who it is though…”

Though…?

I turned off the music, and answered the phone.

“You’re talking to Yuuki, who is it?”

Yuuki? What was your parents smoking?

“Are you Yuuki Castle?”

Unless Castle’s Dad knocked up a Japanese woman, then your parents really wanted to torture you with your name.

“Yeah, I am. Who am I speaking to?”

“I am Detective Mac Taylor from the New York Crimelab. I’ve been going through your appliance, and I’m pleased to tell you I’ve got a job offer for you here with us.”

Your appliance? Do we submit microwaves now for resumes? Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: He’s All Mine


I have no clue how to best explain this next fic. It’s a crossover between Bones and Castle, set during Sucker Punch. Only it’s as if Sucker Punch never happened. And I will warn you, this author will make a teacher cry.

Title: He’s All Mine Author: WhoAmI2010 Summary: This is a crossover with Bones/Castle.This is my version of Sucker Punch with the Bones crew since they did ran into the F.B.I…This also refers to a rivalry between Castle and Bones Rating: M

Part One

As Kate was going home after the wedding, she remember what Kyra had said.

You know, she said a lot in that episode.

“He’s all yours” and of course before than,

Before what?

“He only dedicates books to people he cares about..”

Or bases a character on, and what’s with the two periods?

As Kate was looking at the cover of the Nikki Heat book..

Again with the two periods! WTF?!

She knew that if Castle knew about her feelings that he may not let her hear the end of it.

And yet another Castle fanfic cliché making an appearance and rearing its ugly head.

So she made sure that he would never come to her house.

That would be good and all if she had a house. Read the rest of this entry

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