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Mock the Fic: Not Quite Clarence


Merry Christmas to all my BadCastleFic fans! I hope Santa brought grammar books to all our favorite bad authors! Here is a Christmas fic to honor the holiday. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanza! Robot Santa will be visiting everyone with lots of goodies! I apologize, WordPress is having issues today and won’t let me format this post. Merry Christmas to me, thanks WordPress.

Title: Not Quite Clarence Author: Championship Vinyl Summary: CHRISTMAS oneshot! The holidays are always a little harder on Kate Beckett. Kevin Ryan sees his job as making hard things a little bit easier. Even if it requires being a pest sometimes. 😀 Please read and review. Happy holidays! Rating: K+


A whirl of snow blew down the street, and Kevin tightened the thick grey scarf around his neck, wondering why he always wondered what he was doing when he did this.

He’s wondering why he wondered what he was doing? If he doesn’t know what he’s doing when he’s tightening his scarf, then maybe he should check himself in to a mental facility since I think his hands are trying to strangle himself.

Or something.

Or something.

The station was officially closed,

Do they really close a police station in New York? And why would they be closing it, is it a special day or something?

at least to everyone but the most necessary patrol officers,

In other words, those who don’t have a family or a life. I wonder if HBIC is at the precinct?

working the shortest possible shifts, manning phones, monitoring paperwork. Captain Montgomery had come out of his office at eleven that morning, buttoned his overcoat, flashed them a smile for the season, and all but kicked his detectives off the premises until December twenty-sixth, no exceptions allowed.

So I am guessing that its Christmas eve? You know, if you were a better writer you would’ve set this up better.

Before anyone could even manage a ‘thanks,’ practically,

a thanks practically? How practically is a thanks?

the Cap was out the door himself, off to a Christmas with the wife, the kids, big dinners and warm fires and good brandy; all the right clichés.

Really? All the right clichés? Does this mean that he will dress up as Santa too?

It definitely wasn’t a present to waste, and Kevin hadn’t. He’d been with Jenny all day, and his mother and dad and sisters were all still back at the apartment together, cleaning up Eve dinner and talking about God only knew what, and Kevin was sure he probably wouldn’t want to know even if they offered.

Wow, that was a mile long run on sentence.

Now, it seemed he was the only one on the bustle on the streets who wasn’t going home: everywhere around him, there were people with shopping bags and boxes, in groups and alone, in ratted hoodies and expensive furs and ducking into taxis.

What the hell is wrong with you that you have to have twenty subjects happening in one sentence? You can have more than one sentence. Trust me, Fanfiction doesn’t charge by the sentence.

Their days were all done already. But him, he had one thing left. Something he’d done for three years now, and it was too important not to be his priority right now, even in the cold and light flurrying snow of eight-thirty at night. Because above all, Kevin Ryan still believed in Christmas.

Is that like believing in Santa?

Crossing his arms around him for warmth, Kevin turned up the corner, squinting to make sure he was approaching the right address. Last year, before the freak bomb incident, he hadn’t had to check. Things changed. He was okay with acknowledging that.

He’s okay with acknowledging that her apartment blew up? Wow, it’s a real man to be able to acknowledge an apartment blowing up. Read the rest of this entry

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Mock the Fic: Wet Teeshirt Chapter 6 (are we done yet?)


I really wish this fic was done yet. It’s one of those stories that makes me want to drink myself into a stupor and hope I don’t wake up in the morning. Sadly, I always wake up and thus live on to mock another chapter of this crap.

Stats: Title:Wet Teeshirt Author:stevieLUVSAlex Summary: It’s the CAMPING trip that will change everything between the duo. Pranks… fun… friendly fire… and possiblly C&B fluff. You’re gonna love this. Rating: K+

A/N: It was brought to my attention that I made an error. It’s HOT during the day and COOL at night, it has to be HOT or else there’s no point being dumped with cold water, and it has to be COOL at night or else Castle could sleep on the floor… and no one wants that, not even Beckett, despite her false protest. =)

Are you not going to even mention the fact that you don’t go swimming outside when it’s in the 40’s? Let’s not mention the whole shark comment.

Ps. I’d give Ashley’s parents names, if I could discover what they were. *hint, help*

Wow, never thought of making their names up? It’s not hard and obviously you don’t have problems making crap up since you wrote this crap fic.

Beckett felt shy with him the following morning, realizing that she had slept all night with his arms around her waist. She was careful to loosen herself without waking him and slipped out of the sleeping bag before he stirred. Ashley’s mother was already up and making coffee.

I hope that’s with a coffee press and boiled water. Or do they have extension cords and plug ins built into the trees in Down Town, NY?

“Would you like one?” she asked politely.

One what? Gotta be a bit more specific.

Beckett nodded. “Yeah, that would be great, thanks.”

The two women sat down around the campfire, sipping on their morning habit.

Sounds like they put meth or crack into their morning coffee.

“So, Kate, how long have you and Richard been…?” Ashley’s mother asked making conversation.

Beckett spat her coffee onto the ground, and wiped her chin, as the dribble of her hot coffee trickled down her face. “We’re not!” she stated matter-of-factly. She could feel her cheeks flush.

Ashley’s mother frowned. “You’re not?”

I take it Ashley’s mother is another Castle/Beckett fangirl who can’t imagine the two not together.

“NO!” she assured her. “Castle and I are…” what were they exactly? “Partners. He follows me around for research for his books, that’s ALL!”

I’m surprised the author isn’t having our HBIC performing a hissy fit and stomping on the floor.

The woman eyed her suspiciously. She didn’t look like she believed her.

Yup, the mom must be a 14 year old fangirl.

“You and Richard were acting rather-”

“I know,” she interrupted. “I… I’m sorry. He was tickling me.”

I’m also imagining that the author of this fic is also 14 years old.

She mentally slapped her forehead. How old am I? She cursed herself. She was acting like a five year old. What grown woman giggles and plays childish tickle games?

One that is being written out of character by a 14 year old.

Ashley’s mother raised an eyebrow in obvious disapproval. Beckett blushed again.

Castle made an appearance then, stretching as he stepped out of the tent, Beckett’s eyes caught a glimpse of his naked chest before she turned her eyes to the floor. “Morning all,” he greeted.

“Goodmorning,” Ashley’s mother replied politely.

Really? In the land of 14 year olds in the big Down Under, do you always make good morning into one word? And why is Castle shirtless? Doesn’t the author know that every time Castle goes shirtless the ratings go down? Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Wet Teeshirt Chapter 4


Why do I get the feeling that this is the fic that will never end? It just keeps going on and never ends. I’m sick of it, but I’m still going to trek on and mock it since it’s horrible. Speaking of horrible, has anyone else noticed how freakin expensive her books are? Growing Pains is $19.99 and that is for paperback edition. Holy cow. I’d never pay that much. Good luck getting anyone to buy it when they can read your crapfics for free.

A/N: WOW… the response I am getting to this story is fantastic. =) I have to say this is the most fun I have had creating a story… too bad my own novels don’t have this kind of humor in them, I don’t know why…

Because you can’t write and you are self published?

*ponders this* Anyways, this chapter is… well, you’ll see. Enjoy =)

I doubt if I will.

She never would have admitted it, but Beckett had never slept as well as she had sharing a sleeping bag with writer-boy.

Who’d a thunk all it took was a Writer-boy to make a La Quinta Inn parking lot a great place to sleep.

She had been exceptionally warm and comfortable from the moment he slipped into the sleeping bag with her. And she was afraid to wake him the next morning, and made it a point not to move as he slept skin to skin beside her.

What did they do, strip clothing in the sleeping bag?

Beckett could smell the scent of his body projecting off his skin, a mix of Old Spice and powder.

Wow, does he ride a horse, naked and backwards too? Old Spice and powder? Sounds like my Dad.

With a hand pressed lightly against his waist, she pressed her face against the back of his t-shirt ever so gently, breathing him in.

“I smell even better after I’d had a shower,” castle murmured against the pillow.

Do you not know how to capitalize a name? You suck at this and it’s a wonder if you even sell a book.

Beckett felt her face flush with embarrassment, and she instinctively moved her face from his back. She didn’t need to look at him to know that he was smiling like a Cheshire cat.

Wow, you can capitalize Cheshire, but not Cat since its Cheshire Cat.

It took her a full minute before she was game enough to speak to him.

“How long have you been awake?” she managed to mumble.

Like he actually slept.

“A while,” he said. “I enjoyed our snuggle too… it’s a nice way to wake up,”

Stop with the ellipses! Please, go read Grammar Girl’s Guide if you are unsure how the hell to use the ellipses.

he told her, a hint of humor in his voice. He was clearly enjoying this.

That’s not a hint in his voice, that’s his erection. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Wet Teeshirt Chapter 3


I am completely enjoying all the comments I have received regarding this horrible fic I have been mocking. It is scary to think that 189 people have gushed to the author of this crap fic about how much they love it and want her to continue. I feel the urge to start a revolution for the new year of “truthful” comments. Those are the ones we all really want to leave and let the author know what a steaming piece of crap their fic is, but refrain from out of the need for being polite member of society.

Stats: Title:Wet Teeshirt Author:stevieLUVSAlex Summary: It’s the CAMPING trip that will change everything between the duo. Pranks… fun… friendly fire… and possiblly C&B fluff. You’re gonna love this. Rating: K+

A/N: Thought I’d make you wait a few days for this chapter, but you might find it pleasantly entertaining, so hopefully it was worth it. Here goes…

Oh how lucky we are to have another chapter. Die.

As they arrived at the campsite, Beckett climbed out of the car, her eyes scanning the place.

Got to love those empty La Quinta parking lots.

“There’s no one here,” she observed.

I hear that there is an infestation of bedbugs in that parking lot. Have fun.

“They’re coming soon,” Alexis answered glancing at her watch. “Dad likes to get here early, he’s always afraid that someone else will get the better ground.”

Yes, because we all hate to have to sleep on the cold ground without a parking block to rest our head on.

“Don’t mock me, my child,” Castle warned. “If it weren’t for me, our tent would be pitched in a tree… or worse, on the sand, and we’d be woken with the morning tide.”

Where the hell are they camping? Are they on the Gulf Shore or the Hudson Bay?

Alexis rolled her eyes.

Trust me, we all are rolling our eyes out too.

… … … … … … … …

Damn you and your ellipses Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: The Chick and the Surfer part 4


Wow this is a fic that we haven’t seen in a while! I was surprised to see it pop up on the fanfic radar. I figured it was a DOA fic. I guess it still has a little bit of life left in it. And look! La Quinta Inn is getting more free advertisement on my blog! I demand my complimentary breakfast buffet at Dennys.

Stats: Title: The Chick and The Surfer Author: AriesOx17 Summary: The blue-eyed surfer meets the amber eyed chick. Rating: T

Next morning the sun rays shone through the shades waking Kate up first.

Oooh whose bed is she waking up in?

Last night had been steamy, beyond anything Kate would have imagined.

I’m guessing we aren’t at the La Quinta in right now.

Whilst

Why the frak do authors use “whilst?” What’s wrong with the word while?

watching Rick, she thought last night was incredible. His muscular arms are so dreamy and the way he moved his hands…wow! Who knew he was talented in so many ways?

I hope you wore protection because if he’s talented in so many ways then that might mean he’s also diseased in so many ways too.

She continued to watch him sleep. However, it wasn’t long before Rick awoke.

I have creepy stalker visions of her watching him sleep.

“Good morning sugar.”

Yes, we just met and had sex and now you want to call me sugar. Sure! Why not, Honey Bunny!

“Good morning to you too handsome.”

I feel like puking.

“Last night was…” began Kate but Rick finished the sentence.

“…Incredible.”

Puke bag please!

The two of them lay there in bed, Rick contentedly holding Kate in his arms.

-x-

Over the next several days, it seems the two of them became even closer since consummating their relationship.

Wow I feel sorry for the La Quinta maids who have to clean the bed after those two.

She would visit him when he was at work and they would spend as much time together as possible and getting to know each other.

Technically does he even work?

If they weren’t able to meet up then, he would tell her the best places for her and her friends to visit; however, nothing came close to the San Francisco trip they took.

I’m sure her parents would so approve of her taking along the guy she just slept to San Francisco on the trip they are paying for.

After having a fun filled three-week adventure in California, it was time for Kate, Lanie, and Madison to head back to New York.

So sad, too bad.

Two nights before they left, Kate (aside from packing) spent all of her remaining time with Rick.

Once again, poor maid staff.

The two of them were sitting quietly at his place, cuddling and enjoying each other’s presence.

Gag.

Then out of nowhere, Rick gathered up his courage to ask one of many important questions.

“Do you have any STD’s?”

“Kate, my love, please move in with me?”

Wow! That’s smart, let’s move in with the guy we just met! And to think I thought at least dating for more than a week was needed to move in with someone.

Kate lifted her head and looked at him unable to say anything.

“But I haven’t had the time to run a proper credit check on you…”

When she was able to say something she said, “I don’t know. This is kind of sudden.”

“Or a STD test.”

Rick nodded; he understood; this was a big step for the both of them.

Or he needed to get a refill on that penicillin test.

“I would have to move away from the life I know in New York, and away from my parents and…”

Rick placed his right index finger on Kate’s lips and he said, “Shh, okay how about you go back and pack enough stuff for a few months say six, if our relationship does not work then you can return to New York.”

Wow, since when did a few months become six?

Kate was bowled over.

Glad she’s not a bowling pin.

Here was the sweetest and most handsome guy giving her an offer she couldn’t bear to turn down.

It’s really easy, you say: “NO!” Or: “Why don’t you come stay with me?”

“Okay, I accept. I was wondering if you would like come with me to meet my parents?” asked Kate.

“Mom, Dad! This is the guy that gave me that STD!”

Mock the Fic: Those Jehovah’s Witnesses, AGAIN


Here we go again, insulting religions with this fic. Isn’t it fun being so insulting to religions? I think I’m going to hell for this.

Stats: Title: Those Jehovah’s Witnesses, AGAIN! Author:stevieLUVSAlexSummary:Castle is running late… JW’s are at the door, he thinks that’s the worst he has to see that day… wait until he gets to work! Kate’s on the war path… and of course they’ll be some C&B love : Rating: K

A/N: Gunshot wound to the head… yeah, Lanie got it wrong… lol!

I believe I said she wasn’t psychic.

Okay, okay, so let’s NOT blame the M.E here… the blame lies with me. I told you I was new to this crime thing.

What was our first hint, the red tape?

I do okay in character development.

Okay?

Anyways… here’s the next chapter 🙂

It was headline news in a matter of hours.

Oh no! Not the evening press! Wait, do they even do the evening press anymore?

Castle rolled his eyes as he watched the reporter give a short story,

Ah Fox News I see jumped on this story.

about a couple in the hallway of an apartment that had been shot dead, unfailing to give out the information that they were Jehovah’s Witnesses. Castle pouted.

Castle pouted? He’s pouting because Fox News is outside his apartment but not interviewing him? Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Those Jehovah’s Witnesses, AGAIN!


And we are BACK! Back to our normal posts! The whole Mock the Fic Challenge was great fun! We shall have to do that again. Meanwhile, here is my new mock. If you want to start mocking a fic, please feel free to step in and do a guest mock. We always love new mockers.

Stats: Title: Those Jehovah’s Witnesses, AGAIN! Author: stevieLUVSAlex Summary:Castle is running late… JW’s are at the door, he thinks that’s the worst he has to see that day… wait until he gets to work! Kate’s on the war path… and of course they’ll be some C&B love : Rating: K+

A/N: I had every intention of relieving myself from FF for a while,

Damn, why didn’t you?

because I have had NO ideas flowing for my own stories,

That’s a perfect reason to quit Fanfic writing.

and then when I wrapped everything up, I had NO ideas still, but of course FF entered my mind…

You know I think you can get help for this. Please get help for this.

and I am here to bring you an unusual FF… So you know those Jehovah’s witnesses that come knocking on people’s doors… it’s about them… well sort of.

God is going to smite you for this.

Enjoy: D

Oh I’m sure I will.

Rushing for the door, Richard Castle grabbed his keys and threw the door open. He was already running late, and Detective Kate Beckett was going to tear him a new badge.

Wait, since when did Castle have a badge? This is a new revelation. Did I miss something?

She already complained about his tardiness,

Technically he’s not an employee, so why does she care?

accusing him of never taking anything seriously, which he instantly refuted. But this would prove her point, for sure.

Of course it will, because being late to a job you don’t have is a sure sign of not taking anything seriously. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: If it were this easy


Today’s mock is going to be officially the smallest mock ever! I have a feeling this opener is going to be longer than the fic. How sad is that? I’m not sure if I can even mock this properly because its so short. On second thought, yes I can. Sorry if you were expecting more of a longer mock today. Maybe this is a hint you should be working on your mock for my challenge (hint hint!).

Stats: Title:if it were this easy Author: kbeckett96 Summary: this story is very short and straight to the point Rating: K

“Castle”

I’m guessing we are short on characters we can use so we aren’t using punctuation?

“yes Beckett”

Well Thank-God capitals were free and we didn’t spare no expense when using those.

“kiss me already”

And everything I just said went out the window about the whole free capitalizing of letters.

and that was that

This is it? Just like that? I think I have twitter posts that have more substance than this fic. Was this a less than 100 words fic challenge? Or are you just too lazy and uncreative to write more?

its just what i wish would happen

Thank-God most people’s imagination and writing has more substance than yours. Even all the other badfic authors that I’ve mocked have more substance than this.

“Castle”

“yes Beckett”

“kiss me already”

and that was that

its just what i wish would happen

Mock the fic: The Newlywed Game Castle


Okay folks, I swear I don’t set out to find these fics, they find me. They come running, screaming and begging me to mock theme. This starts out small, but fear not, it has five fandoms for me to mock in it, it’ll get better. Oh and if I haven’t mentioned this yet, I have a theory, the longer your Fanfiction.net profile is, the more you will make readers want to spork their eyes out.

Stats: Title: The_Newlywed_game_Castle Author: kym667103 Summary: A Crossover fic with Cold Case, Bones, NCIS, Castle, or Twilight. Rating: T

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Cold Case, Bones, NCIS, Castle, or Twilight.

Okay, we are going to mock five fandoms with this fic! Fabulous!

Castle

Rick Castle

I just found out that my publisher signed Kate and I up for The Newlywed game.

Wow, that would be impressive if they were actually married. And is this show still on? Oh wait, Game Show Network. Are we out of idea’s already that we have to resuscitate old game shows?

She said it would be good publicity, but I was scared it had taken me a long time to win Kate I love her more then she could ever know.

I feel a puke bag moment.

I don’t even understand my first two marriages were nothing like this.

Huh? You don’t even understand your first two marriages? Let’s see, the first one had Meredith cheating on you. God only knows about the second one?

I was scared Kate would kill me for this one. That stupid letter that lay on my desk now was the cause of all this worry, and my stupid publisher.

I’m still trying to fathom the why behind this. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Finding a Way to be Together


In the spirit of all the really bad fics I’ve been mocking lately, here is another HORRIBLE one. The author can’t even spell Beckett right. You might want to make sure you take all the guns out of the room before you read this, if you don’t you might find yourself trying to commit suicide.

Stats: Title: Finding_A_Way_To_Be_Together Author: castleshowfan Summary: While Castle And Beckett Start To Realize the Love they Have For Each Othe They Have To Find A Way To Jump All the Obstacles On The Way. First FanFic So I Just Hope YOu Like It. Beckett/Castle And A Little Lanie/ Esposito Rating: T

It was a normal day at the precinct were everyone was having a good time.

Is this how this fic going to be? Where is my vodka?

Beckette, Castle, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, and the Captain were playing poker that night when everyone went home and only they decided to stay.

It’s BECKETT! B-E-C-K-E-double T! Spell it right or HBIC will be pissed. And who is they? I’m confuzzled.

But what they did not know was that that night was going to be the worst night in their lives.

Once again, who is they and is it really going to be the worst night of their lives? Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Homicide Hottie


And just when you think we hit rock bottom on bad fanfics, something like this comes along and smacks you in the face. Now while you go read and enjoy the fic, I’m going to go take my blood pressure medicine and drink some whisky to help forget this piece of crap of a fic.

Stats: Title:Homicide Hottie Author:CASTLEMESILLY514 Summary: Everyone knows the Castle is a great father and that Beckett admiars that, but now she has a chance to be a mother or a aunt. meanwhile beckett and castle need help on this case so the turn to beckett street smart neiece to help on this case Rating: K

I still stand behind the theory that the more words misspelled in the summary, the more I will want to kill the author by the end of the story.

Chapter 1: The Invite

Well, at least you spelled everything so far correctly, so far so good.

It was a regular morning in the castle loft.

And that didn’t last long. Okay let’s play a game, for every spelling/grammar mistake you make, I will kill a LOLCat. That’s right, one of those cute, little fluffy kitties that have funny little words and they, just like you, can’t spell or use grammar correctly. I’ll let that one slide, but the rest are all on you.

Alexis was getting ready for school while her father Rick Castle was sitting down in front of his laptop writing the next chapter for his latest book “Heat Flash”.

Heat Flash? That doesn’t even make sense.

“Hey are you going to see Dective Beckett today?”

Aww the poor little “I can has cheezburger?” cat just died a painful death.

ask Alexis grabbing her book bag

Have you ever heard of past tense usage where you add an “ed” to the end of a word? Congrats, you just killed “monorail cat.” I hope you like walking.

“well unless there is a murder I need to finish this chapter”

Hate to say it, but there has been murder, murder of the cute little “Have you seen my bucket” Walrus. Shame on you.

her father said looking back down at his laptop. “Ok see you after school then love you” said Alexis as she kissed her dad on his forehead

And now the cute little “Wait I can fix it” kitty is now dead after trying to fix your story.

“see ya kiddo love you 2” Castle called back as she headed out the door.

I am really restraining to kill you because I am sure you are only 8 years old because I know for a fact that anyone older than that can write out the word “too.” Oh and the “I has flavor” kitty died from licking your really bad fic.

Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Uninvited Guest


Okay my rant about horrible fanfic writing is over. Back to the mocks! This one folks is horrible. It’s beyond horrible. It will make you want to bang your head against a table in hopes of losing consciousness before you finish the fic. It puts some of the other fics I have mocked to shame and makes them look Pulitzer award winning stories. Remember, you have been forewarned.

Stats: Title: Univited_Guest Author: secretvalintine Summary: Kates been tracking an online serial killer for months, but suddenly thats not the only thing on her mind… Rating: T

Chapter 1

The desk drawer closed shut with a familiar click that reassured me. The clock had barely passed 6, none of my team would

be here for awhile.

What is with this horrible formatting of this story? Did you write it in an email? I’m sure you did since anything else would’ve told you that you need to spell out six and you might want to add on ante meridiem, or as you might call it, AM, to that time too.

Another day, just like all the others was before the detective.

Wow, it must suck having all those days standing in front of her.

A day filled with murder

Wow! Awesome! I wish my planner had “murder” written in it on the whole page. It would so much more exciting than my actual work day. And once again, I did not format this story, this is how it was formatted, I didn’t even have to add in extra line breaks for my snark. It was already ready for the mocking!

, mayhem, and mystery… “boring” I said aloud.

Yes because randomly saying “boring” is so much fun and I just love making people think I’m CRAZY!

The criminal they all had been searching for seemed to have jumped off the grid.

Wow, we are grid jumping now? And I would too if I was the criminal in this story too, because obviously the story is HORRIBLE! Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Mommytobe Part 2


Happy Tuesday, how about part two of a baby fic! YAY! Lets have some more unwanted pregnancies, some 15 year old drama, and some horrible grammar.

Stats: Title: Mommytobe AuthorNikkiHeatLuver Summary: When she broke up with Demming, she thought she was done with him, but now it’s revealed that she’s never going to forget him. How will her news mess up her dating Castle. Spoiler For Season 3 Rating: T

i’m sooooooooo sorry for the wait but here i go

Yes, nothing says sorry like adding a bunch of o’s to so, and not capitalizing the I.

🙂 the lyrics are Angel’s Lullaby by Reba McEntire

Oh holy hell, this is a song fic?

Beckett looked at her boyfriend’s hand resting on top of her own, trying to avoid eye connect with him. “Not here, not now.” Castle took his right hand and tilted her head up to look at him.

Wait, what just happened? Oh that’s right, she’s preggers with Demmings bastard kid and she’s dating Castle. Awkward.

“Right here, right now.” Beckett sighed.

Demanding aren’t we?

“Rick, i can’t ,” She said, tears starting to welled up in her eyes again.

I’m sure this would be more dramatic if you had capitalize the “I” in that sentence! And I highly doubt if our favorite HBIC would be crying like this in a diner. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Mommytobe


Baby stories. Why must it always be baby stories (and snakes, but that’s a whole another movie). By now, I’m sure you all know I hate, no DETEST baby stories. They always seem to revolve around the pee stick in the bathroom of the precinct and an unexpected bundle of joy on the way. Die! Thus I am mocking yet another Castle Cliché fic: a baby cliché fic. And no, the title isn’t my spelling mistake, no that would be our wonderful authors mistake.

Stats: Title: Mommytobe Author: NikkiHeatLuver Summary: When she broke up with Demming, she thought she was done with him, but now it’s revealed that she’s never going to forget him. How will her news mess up her dating Castle. Spoiler For Season 3 Rating: T

I know i should be writing my other stories, but this idea has been bugging me for the past MONTH so I’m gonna write it. I’m sorry if characters are a bit OOC, it’s hard for me to write them as their personalities.

Oh frak. OOC? Out of character? I almost want to make a rule, if you can’t write their personalities, then write for a fandom you can.

Kate Beckett sat in the last stall of the women’s bathroom on the homicide floor of the 12th prescient in New York.

Sitting on the toilet? On the floor? What? And you do know that a prescient is beforehand knowledge, right? Kind of hard to sit on knowledge before it happens.

She felt tears start to well up in her eyes when the white screen of a pregnancy test turned into a bright pink plus sign.

What kind of cheep pregnancy test did she buy? Most have a blue plus or minus sign, or even say “pregnant” or “not pregnant.”

Beckett sighed as she hide the test at the bottom of her purse before she exited the stall.

Eeeeewwwee. She putting that pee stick in her purse? And she hid it, not hide it. Get the present/past tense right, please. Read the rest of this entry

Mock the Fic: Time Flies part 3


Okay folks, not going to lie when I say we are now at the slow part of the fic. I debated about not continuing to mock this fic,  but I just feel incomplete if I don’t finish a fic, so thus bear with me while we make it through the slow parts of the fic.

Stats: Title: Time Flies Author: HeatXWave10 Summary: Castle and Beckett find themselves in a situation that compells him to quit following her. But, what happens when they cross paths again threeyears later and Castle is hit with a major bombshell? Rating: K+

Dontchca just love how compels is misspelled.

Castle entered the loft to find Alexis sitting on the sofa flipping through TV channels. When she saw him, she walked over and gave him a hug.

“Hey, dad,” she greeted him, “Where’ve you been? You left hours ago.”

Wow, shouldn’t she be at college or something by now?

“Well,” he began seriously, “That’s actually something I need to talk to you about. You might want to sit down.”

Uh oh, he’s about to drop the f-bomb on her, and by f-bomb I mean father bomb. Read the rest of this entry

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